Concords Are Better

New Column!

2011-04-18T23:47:00.001-07:00

Hey kids,

Today I'm introducing a new column called "Bipolar Opposites." Each month I will focus on a particular topic as seen through the lyrics of two different musical artists. Compare and contrast, if you will. Today's subject is small town life. Obviously, there are pros and cons to this sort of lifestyle, and each of the musicians featured today paints a dramatically different view. First up is the folk singer Iris Dement. Her song is pretty and nostalgic, almost to the point of being saccharine. Call me Grandma, but I think there's a timeless quality to it that makes it enjoyable. I have no idea what happened to Ms. Dement (I'm too lazy to look it up on Wikipedia); she made a couple of albums in the 90's and then seemed to fade away. Maybe she should've moved to a bigger city.

Next up is the 80's noise band Big Black. Their take on small town life is a bit different. I remember really liking this song as a teenager; for a bored kid in suburban dullsville, how could it not resonate a little? Anyway, it's still a great song, with the best guitar sound of all time: it's like they're sawing through sheet metal. I'll take it over Clapton any day.

Iris Dement:

Big Black:

Revisionist History

2011-02-10T21:44:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I love music. In fact, I like reading about it almost as much as I like listening to it. There are a handful of websites that I go to for my music fix, but probably the most well-known of them is Pitchfork. They're sort of the Rolling Stone magazine of the internet age, and they've become influential enough to turn unknown bands into popular ones, at least on the indie rock circuit. That's fine by me, since their opinions are usually pretty reliable. Except when they aren't.
Back in the late 90's, I started listening to the music of Robert Wyatt, a British art rock musician. One of the first albums of his that I heard, and the one that really impressed me, was Rock Bottom, an early 70's album that had been reissued on CD around that time. It's a weird record, and definitely not for everyone, but as an experimental pop album it's just about perfect. Anyway, I remember Pitchfork giving a negative review of it back then; I think they rated it a 4 out of 10, which is pretty bad on their scale. It didn't make any sense to me, and I just assumed that the website didn't have much interest in pre-90's music. Well, a decade later the same album was reissued again, and Pitchfork gave it a 9. What happened? A different critic probably reviewed the second reissue, but it still annoyed me that there could be that much inconsistency. So I searched their archived reviews and found something even more troubling: they deleted the previous review! I imagine that they were embarrassed by their first review after giving the album a second listen. But the fact remains that they duped their readers. They couldn't admit that they were wrong the first time, so they had to hide the evidence. And that's just not cool. So the next time you read their website, take their opinions with a few large grains of salt. And listen to Rock Bottom!

Giant Sand - Giant Sandwich

2011-01-14T13:14:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! It's time for another edition of Sounds From The Cave. Today we're going to talk about a band from Arizona called Giant Sand. Now, I know what you're thinking: nothing good has ever come out of Arizona. And I can understand how you feel- the state is famous for its anti-immigration laws, crazed gunmen, and leather-skinned senior citizens, not for any kind of music scene. But there are a few notable exceptions- bands such as the Meat Puppets, Calexico, and Giant Sand, all of whom create music that is distinctly southwestern in style. It's probably no accident that these bands also tend to be kind of loopy: living in 110 degree heat probably fries the brain a little, and these bands are a wonderful example of this.

Giant Sand has been around forever. They're still making music, but for me their peak was way back in the 80's. During that decade, they put out several albums full of twangy, Neil Young-ish desert rock, and they were much more straightforward and consistent than they are now. Their leader, Howe Gelb, has been a guitar hero of mine ever since I first heard the band; he could play everything from folky acoustic picking to spontaneous noise freakout, sometimes within the space of a single song. And he wrote some great tunes, too.

A good place to start with this band is Giant Sandwich, which is a compilation of highlights and outtakes from their 80's albums. It's good enough to make you forget about all the negative things in Arizona, at least for a moment. Check out the soundclip below:

A Culinary Revolution

2010-11-19T23:47:00.000-08:00

I am nothing if not a man of ideas. Anyone who knows me knows that I am constantly thinking up new ways to prepare and serve food: the gravy-filled biscuit, the double-sided pizza, the monkey-staffed kitchen...the list goes on and on. Some ideas, such as the cereal restaurant and the breakfast pizza, have been ripped off from me by unscrupulous businessmen who used them for their own profit. And yet I soldier on. Anyway, I recently came up with a new idea for a restaurant which could, ahem, "revolutionize" the food industry. Let me explain.

One of Japan's greatest contributions to modern society is the conveyor-belt sushi restaurant. There are a number of them here in Seattle, and they're my preferred choice for eating sushi. The reasons are numerous. First, I always get exactly the amount of food needed to satisfy my hunger, no more, no less. Second, variety: why eat ten pieces of spicy tuna roll when you can have a couple pieces each of several different rolls? Third, instant gratification: no waiting around for the waiter to take my order or the chef to prepare it. Fourth, visual stimulation: watching all of those colorful pieces of sushi go around is fun. Even my one-year-old daughter can appreciate this. If there's a downside to conveyor-belt sushi, it's that you never know exactly how long the sushi has been sitting out. But a little extra wasabi should be enough to kill off any unwanted food pathogens.

So I got to thinking: why not apply the conveyor-belt method to other types of food? With the modern trend of small plates, it would seem like a natural fit. You could have conveyor-belt tapas, conveyor-belt BBQ, conveyor-belt Thai, you name it. It's such a no-brainer that I'm surprised that nobody's done it yet. But it's bound to happen sooner or later. You heard it here first, friends.

Three

2010-10-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

Wow, has it really been three years? No, not since my last post- I'm talking about three years since this blog started. So much has happened during that time: I got married, my daughter was born, I saw the Facebook movie...I'm a changed man now. And this blog has changed, too: what started as a humble celebration of an underappreciated grape has slowly evolved into a multimedia juggernaut with soundclips, videos, and lots of other stuff I can't remember right now. But enough about the past; what can you, the loyal Concord fan, expect in the future? More of the same! And that's a good thing. I'm talking about more Sounds From The Cave, more fake restaurant reviews, more hostile reader comments, and more of everything that has been charming the planet for the last three years. And, I promise, more frequent posts. Can you imagine a greater gift than that? No, you cannot.

See you next year!

Volcano Suns - Bumper Crop

2010-04-18T23:35:00.000-07:00

Hello dear readers,

Welcome to another edition of Sounds from the Cave. As I write this, a volcano in Iceland is spewing huge clouds of ash and disrupting air travel all over Europe. In honor of this glorious event, I have chosen an album by 80's Boston band, the Volcano Suns. These guys formed out of the ashes (ha!) of another great band, Mission of Burma. Like a lot of other indie groups of the era, the Volcano Suns combined catchy melodies with loud, distorted guitars. They did it better than most, though, and had a sense of humor to boot. But what really separated this band from the rest of the pack was the fact that they had a singing drummer. This is remarkable because singing drummers are almost always a huge liability; two examples that immediately come to mind are Night Ranger and Phil Collins-era Genesis. In both of these cases, the drummers were so busy singing that they were unable to fully rock out on the drums, thereby causing them to play limp-wristed power ballads. This was not the case with the Volcano Suns--these guys played kick-ass, balls-to-the-wall rock n' roll. (That's right, I said "balls-to-the-wall.") So they broke the mold, so to speak.

The other thing that distinguished this band was their propensity for butt-ugly album covers, as evidenced by the image above. Just look at that eyesore--you're likely to burn your retinas before you even get the record out of its jacket. With album art like that, it's no wonder these guys never made it big. And on that note, I'll leave you with a question: What is the ugliest cover you've ever seen on an otherwise great album? While you're pondering that, here's a selection from Bumper Crop:

Against Carrot Cake

2010-04-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

Once in a while you come across something that you had previously accepted as a normal part of everyday life, only to realize that it is completely worthless and does not even deserve to exist. I'm talking, of course, about carrot cake. It's not that it tastes bad, it's just that it is totally mediocre and undeserving of its popularity. Why it is on the shelves of nearly every grocery store is beyond me. I suppose you could say that carrot cake is the Lyle Lovett of the dessert world, but I think it's about time we stop picking on that poor guy. So let's just cut to the chase and list the reasons why this stuff is so awful.

First of all, it shouldn't be called carrot cake. It is basically just spice cake with a few flecks of carrot mixed in. The carrots add absolutely nothing to its character; they're just there because spice cake would sound too boring. People will try to convince you that the carrots make it moist, but you could easily substitute a million other things (e.g. applesauce, vegetable oil) to achieve the same effect. And there isn't the faintest hint of carrot flavor in this cake.

Second, nobody actually likes carrot cake. Oh, they may say they like it, but they're fooling themselves. What people actually like is the cream cheese frosting. Hell, I'd eat a piece of cardboard if it had cream cheese frosting on it. That stuff is like crack cocaine. But just try to offer someone a piece of homemade carrot cake without any frosting and you'll just get a blank stare. Nobody would even consider eating it.

Whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest. Next week: zucchini bread!

Genesis - The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway

2010-03-25T22:13:00.000-07:00

Welcome to a very special edition of "Sounds from the Cave." As many of you know, my friend Trevor used to be my roommate, and he left a couple boxes of old LPs in my basement when he moved out. After he found out about my new blog column, Trevor suggested that I dig through his records and feature something from his collection. So that is exactly what I am doing for this week's post. Think of it as "Sounds from the Cave: Mad City Edition."
I chose Genesis's The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway because it'd been an album that I'd heard good things about but had never actually heard. It is widely considered to be one of the great albums of the 70's, but despite my many years of music listening, Lamb somehow always managed to elude me. I guess you could say that it was my white whale. I mean that literally- the album cover is white, and it's massive: four sides of epic progressive rock, with elaborate cover art to match. So why did I avoid listening to it for so long? For one thing, my earliest memories of Genesis are of the 80's Invisible Touch-era band. I hated that stuff so much that I pretty much swore off listening to them ever again. The other thing is my general disinterest in progressive rock, which is the musical style that Genesis played on Lamb. Don't get me wrong- I do like rock music that is artistic and inventive, but sometimes progressive rock just sounds too pretentious to me. There's also a vague Dungeons & Dragons vibe that I get from listening to it, which is not a good thing in my book (although I will admit that Rush were one of the first bands I ever liked).
Well, I've decided to confront my fears and dive head first into this so-called masterpiece. So what is this album all about? It is, in a word, fancy. There are fancy song structures. There are fancy time signatures. And there are fancy lyrics which create a complex narrative throughout the whole album. It is the quintessential rock opera. And after listening to it once all the way through, I can say that I enjoyed it. Quite a bit, actually. I could even imagine liking it more with repeated listens. That hasn't happened yet - this record is freaking long, people - so time will tell if this record ends up spending much time on my turntable. But one thing's for sure- this band used to be pretty damn weird, which makes it all the more puzzling that they ended up being Top 40 pop stars in the 80's. I'm still trying to figure out how a band that started out like this eventually ended up like this. Anyway, here's a selection from Lamb:

Hiatt's Rule

2010-03-17T22:11:00.000-07:00

What's the deal with John Hiatt? He's sort of the anti-Lyle Lovett: so normal-looking that it's hard to imagine him playing rock 'n roll. And the truth is, his music is just as boring as you would expect. Just remember "Hiatt's Rule": Never listen to music made by someone who looks like a mid-level office manager. Ah, never mind...

The Legendary Joao Gilberto

2010-03-11T22:15:00.000-08:00

Hello, and welcome to another edition of "Sounds from the Cave." Before we begin, I would like to offer an apology of sorts. As you recall from my last post, I said some rather mean things about Lyle Lovett, the basic message being that he is overrated. This is a bit unfair, since I haven't really listened to him that much. I'm sure he's probably a really nice guy, and I will admit that he's got a great voice. But I still stand by what I said. Like Leon Redbone before him, he belongs in the musical dustbin of freaks and curiosities. What I do regret about my post is the crack I made in the comments section implying that my parents (and old people in general) have terrible taste in music. There is a kernel of truth to this, since I typically do not like the same music as my parents. But there are some big exceptions, the most obvious of which is the subject of this week's post.

Today I'm going to talk about Joao Gilberto. He is the Brazilian singer/guitarist who, along with the composer Antonio Carlos Jobim, basically invented the musical genre known as bossa nova. You probably know the song "The Girl from Ipanema" (sung by Joao's wife, Astrud); it's the song that started the bossa nova craze in the 60's and spawned countless cheesy tunes heard in elevators all over the world. What you probably haven't heard are the earliest bossa nova recordings, which were made by Joao in the late 50's and eventually compiled on a fantastic CD called The Legendary Joao Gilberto. The songs on this disc represent the purest (and best) examples of the form, and many of them have since become standards. Joao's jazzy guitar chords and ultra-mellow singing make for some of the most relaxing music ever recorded; even my mom likes this stuff. It's a shame, then, that this CD is no longer in print (which is why I've included it in "Sounds from the Cave"). But you can probably find a copy at your local public library, so it's definitely worth checking out. Your mama would be proud.

Don't Lovett

2010-03-03T22:12:00.000-08:00

Hello friends,

I'm taking a break today from my "Sounds from the Cave" series to talk about a subject that's really been bugging me lately. The subject is this: Lyle Lovett. Specifically, I would like to know why this guy is famous. He's a good enough singer, I guess, but his songs are totally unmemorable. If you saw him in "Short Cuts", then you know how limited his range is as an actor. So what, exactly, is so special about Lyle Lovett? Here's my theory: people are intrigued by his weird face and hair. And that's all. They think that someone who is that strange-looking must have artistic talent. But ask yourself this question: If Lyle Lovett looked like Mr. Joe Average, would people still listen to his music? I doubt it. Now, I will admit that I have only heard a few of his songs, but the ones I did hear sounded like nothing more than generic bar-band material. It's the sort of stuff that I imagine middle-aged couples listening to when they're drinking margaritas out on the deck. But is it possible that I'm missing something here? Does he actually have some great songs that I haven't heard? If you are a fan, I would like to hear from you. To use a phrase that Mr. Lovett probably knows all too well, I'm all ears.

Kiwi Rock

2010-02-28T22:32:00.000-08:00

I know exactly two things about New Zealand. The first, obviously, is hobbits. The country is overrun with these furry-footed creatures. According to recent statistics, there are seven hobbits for every human in New Zealand, and they play a significant role in the country's economy. Hobbit fur is used to make Snuggies (a major NZ export), and their urine is harvested to make the local delicacy known as Marmite. The second thing I know about New Zealand is Flying Nun Records. Back in the 80's, there was a vibrant indie rock scene in New Zealand, and Flying Nun was the label that documented it. The bands on this label played catchy, lo-fi guitar pop, a sharp contrast to the hardcore and post-punk sounds being made in the U.S. at the time; it wasn't long before American bands heard this music and became influenced by it.
There were a ton of great bands on Flying Nun, but two of the better ones were the Clean and the Verlaines. Both bands made their best music at the beginning of the 80's, and these early recordings were eventually compiled on two classic LP's: the Clean's Compilation, and the Verlaine's Juvenilia. The former was upbeat and whimsical, while the latter was more romantic and folky. Both were full of great tunes and are worth hearing for anyone interested in the history of underground rock.

The Clean:

The Verlaines:

Neil Young - Time Fades Away

2010-02-19T22:48:00.000-08:00

I am a huge Neil Young fan. His music was the soundtrack for innumerable road trips during my college days. I would even go so far as to say that I worship him like a god. In fact, I think everyone should set aside three hours every Sunday to sit down and listen to his albums. His name should be included in the Pledge of Allegiance, despite his Canadian citizenship. When you are faced with a tough decision, you should ask yourself, "What would Neil Young do?" His music will guide you to a better place, and for this we should all bow down and show him our utmost respect.

If there is a phase of Neil's career that I find particularly noteworthy, it would be the years 1973-1979. It was during this time that he released what I consider to be his best albums. The first of these was Time Fades Away. This album was unique in the sense that it was recorded live but consisted of entirely new songs. More importantly, however, it introduced a significant change in Neil's musical direction. The new songs were darker, more personal, and played in a much looser style than his earlier recordings. And of course, the songwriting was top-notch: rowdy rockers and fragile ballads, all of them essential listening. So it's a shame that this record was never reissued on CD. It's hard to imagine how this could be, especially with such a popular musical artist. Apparently, Neil Young himself was never totally thrilled with the album and has since prohibited his record label from reissuing it. To this I can only reply: KISS MY ASS, NEIL. Because your fans deserve better than that. They deserve to hear every note you played during those golden years. Sure, you can coast on your success and keep writing songs about electric cars and rapper jeans, but nobody really cares about that crap. In the meantime, I'll just have to listen to my worn-out copy of Time Fades Away and try to imagine what it sounds like without all the pops and scratches. And you can too:

Feedtime - Shovel

2010-02-11T20:58:00.000-08:00

Sometimes simpler is better. Like, I'll occasionally go to a restaurant and just order a hamburger, even if there are more exotic things on the menu. Don't get me wrong, I have an amazingly refined palate and do enjoy a good gourmet meal from time to time. But I can tell you from experience that a plate of free-range dolphin sashimi just doesn't satisfy in the same way that a big ol' greasy burger does. Which bring us to this week's record.

Feedtime were a noise rock band from Australia who were active during the 1980's. They took the basic sound of punk, slowed it down, and simplified it even further. No solos, no choruses, just two or three chords repeated over and over. The point was to be as raw and direct as possible. Not that you'd expect anything different from these guys: the back cover shows pictures of the band members, one of whom is sporting a mullet and the other two looking like they just got released from prison (there's also a picture of a dog, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't play any instruments). But what they lacked in complexity they made up for in feeling. Underneath the noise was a primitive blues sound which made the music seem more genuine than other bands of the era. Unfortunately, most of their records remain out of print, but you can hear a sample from one of them here:

Slovenly - Thinking of Empire

2010-02-05T21:58:00.000-08:00

Hey kids!
Welcome to the first installment of Sounds From The Cave. Each week I will dig up a long-forgotten album from my record collection and attempt to rescue it from obscurity. Now, I've gone the extra mile and posted song clips from these records. I say "extra mile" because I had to convert them to mp3's, upload them to on online storage site, and then stream them to this blog. It's tedious work, but I think you (and the records) deserve it; after all, it's probably the only way these hidden gems will ever get heard. So without further ado, let's get started with this week's selection: Slovenly!
Slovenly were one of the great, underappreciated bands of the 80's. Despite being on the same label (SST Records) as higher-profile acts like Husker Du, Black Flag, and the Minutemen, they never gained much of a following and have since remained a mere footnote in the history of underground rock. Part of the problem can be attributed to a phenomenon I like to call Annoying Singer Syndrome (ASS). This occurs when an otherwise decent band is hampered by a singer who irritates the living crap out of you, something that fans of Modest Mouse and Joanna Newsom are all too familiar with. Sometimes ASS can totally ruin one's listening experience; in other instances, the band is so good that the singing doesn't really matter, as was the case with Slovenly. Their singer's melodramatic vocals and pretentious lyrics were only a minor distraction from the otherwise amazing music. And music really was the focus of this band, particularly the interplay between the musicians. The two guitars, bass, and drums locked together in a way that formed tight patterns and grooves. The result was music that was full of tension yet still melodic and enjoyable. Thinking of Empire, from 1986, was their best album in my opinion; although it was never released on CD, the vinyl worth hunting down if you have the patience. It's solid proof that something that sounds like ASS can actually be pretty darn good. Here's a song from it:

Caveman Rock

2010-01-27T21:38:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I hope all three of you had a wonderful holiday season. As you can tell, I treated myself to an extended break from blogging, and now I feel re-energized and ready to get back into the swing of things. This year I am introducing a new column: Sounds From The Cave. Let me explain.

Recently, I decided to create a personal space in the basement of my house where I could indulge in all of my manly obsessions. Many people call this modern phenomenon a "man cave," and I will refer to it as such from now on. But whereas most guys use their man caves to watch sports, play video games, and drink beer, I will be using mine to listen to records. I have a large collection of indie rock LP's from the 80's and 90's, all of which have been neglected for several years. Well, I just dusted off my turntable and now I'm ready to rock. The side-effect of this is that I will be writing about various albums in my collection, and each post will focus on one record that I consider to be noteworthy in some way. If this sounds like an idea I ripped off from Mad City or Quest For Manuka...well, it is. The difference is that each album I discuss will be out of print. What's the point of this, you ask? Well, I realized that some of my favorite albums have been virtually forgotten in this modern age of mp3's and iTunes. And that's a shame. These records are like hidden treasures, or as my wife cleverly called them, "Concords in the rough". My goal is to give these albums the credit they are due. Any idiot can go over to Pitchfork.com and learn about all the cool, new bands out there. But today's music listeners are being deprived of hearing some of the great, lost sounds from the pre-internet days of indie rock. Sure, you won't be able to find these albums on Amazon.com, but if you're motivated enough you can track them down in your local used record store. Stay tuned, dear readers, your ears are in for a treat!

Smoke It

2009-12-18T20:31:00.000-08:00

Holy crap! Has it really been almost a month since I last wrote? Even after I said I was going to blog like once a week or some such nonsense? I have no excuse- I've been home from work for the past few weeks- so all I can say is, well, I got lazy. Okay, now we can get down to business. And this week's business is cheese. That's right, you've waited nearly a month to read a blog post about cheese. But there is a reason why this is important. I spent previous blog posts raving about Concord grapes, pastrami, and homemade bread- each of them a supreme example of three of the four major food groups, covered in detail by yours truly. That leaves one food group for me to tackle: the cheese group.

I'm sure you've all heard of buffalo mozzarella. It's one of the classic cheeses of Italy. Have you ever wondered how it's made? Like, are the Italians milking buffalos to make cheese? Can you even imagine anything more ridiculous? I'm not going to explain the process (that's what Wikipedia is for), but I am going to say that there is no longer any reason to eat it. That's because of something called smoked mozzarella. Smoked mozzarella is like buffalo mozzarella except that it's about ten times as delicious. My current obsession is Cucina Fresca smoked mozzarella ravioli. This is the best store-bought ravioli I have ever tasted. It hits all of the umami-specific taste buds on my tongue, and it hits them hard. You can put a jar of the worst pasta sauce on it and it will still taste fantastic. It must be noted, however, that I have tried other brands of smoked mozzarella that were nowhere near as good. So you have to be careful. But once you find the good stuff, there's no going back to the buffalo.

Daddy Daycare

2009-11-23T21:17:00.000-08:00

Hello Friends,

Today was the first day of my six week long paternity leave. Yes, one of the benefits of having a baby (besides, of course, the baby itself) is taking a bunch of time off work. The last time I had that much time off at once was before I started my job- 13 years ago! I'm looking forward to spending lots of time with my family during this extended break, as well as doing a little traveling to see relatives during the holiday season. But if you think I'll be sleeping in 'til noon, playing video games, drinking beer, and watching Oprah...well, guess again. I've got a baby to take care of, folks. And it just so happens that Mrs. Concord went back to work today, so it was just me and the baby. This wouldn't normally be a difficult situation, except that Baby C does not like bottle-feeding. If she doesn't get the breast, she gets teary-eyed, starts screaming, and flails her arms around (come to think of it, I do the exact same thing). Given these circumstances, the day went by better than expected. Yes, Baby C did get upset, but milk was ingested, wills were broken, and progress was made. I only have two more days to get through (Mrs. C is quitting her job to spend more time with the baby), and then I'll finally be able to kick back and relax. Oprah, here I come!

I ♥ Gluten

2009-11-11T22:37:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,

Is there anything more satisfying than a warm, freshly baked loaf of bread? I mean, besides a giant bowl of Concord grapes? I don't think so. As many of you know, I am obsessed with bread. It is by far my favorite of the four food groups. And I feel lucky that we as Americans are currently living in a golden age of bread. Every city has a bakery that bakes high-quality loaves and sells them at grocery stores all over town. But it was not always like this. When I was a kid the grocery stores stocked only pre-packaged sliced bread, and it was pretty mediocre stuff. But sometime during the past two decades European-style artisan bread became more common. Although it wasn't sliced, it had a much crispier crust and heartier flavor, a welcome change from the bland, mushy bread of my youth. It was, quite literally, the best thing since sliced bread. Nowadays, there is no excuse for not enjoying a delicious, crusty loaf. And yet, this wondrous thing has recently gotten a lot of bad press, and for no good reason. Several years ago, the Atkins diet craze swept the nation, and suddenly anything with a carbohydrate in it (e.g., bread) was the enemy. Of course, it was just another fad diet that came and went, but some of the stigma remained. Additionally, there has been a recent movement in some food circles towards gluten-free products, and this has once again has given bread a bad name. Now, I have nothing but sympathy for people with celiac disease, but that condition is pretty rare and doesn't justify the increasing popularity of gluten-free products. There's no reason for the vast majority of Americans to deny themselves the pleasure of yummy, gluten-packed bread.

Probably the best way to enjoy bread is to make it from scratch in your own home, which is exactly what I did last weekend. The house smelled wonderful while it was baking, and the bread was amazingly fresh, warm, and tasty. And just tonight, Mrs. Concord baked two loaves of brioche (pictured above), and it was even more incredible. This sort of thing is time-consuming, however, and it's not something that most people have time to do on a regular basis. If you're not up for baking your own bread, then you can still buy a nice, freshly baked loaf for a few bucks at your nearest grocer. And if that's not available, you can always settle for this: the Alexia Garlic Baguette. This is, in my opinion, the best frozen garlic bread (or frozen anything) of all-time. It is so good that I could eat a whole one in one sitting, which is something I've actually done. You see, there are so many ways to enjoy bread, and I've just scratched the surface. Gluten lovers of the world, rejoice!

Goin' Down South

2009-11-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

Dear friends,

People often ask me what kind of music gets played around the Concord household. The answer is not as simple as you may think. While much of what we listen to falls squarely within the category of indie rock, we do like to mix it up every now and then. You know, a little Raffi here, a little Barney the Dinosaur there (just kidding- Baby Concord hasn't learned how to control the stereo yet). Lately we've been listening to a bunch of CDs from the fine folks at Oxford American. This is a literary magazine that focuses on writers from the South, and every December they put out a music issue that includes a compilation CD. Now, I'm not going to pretend that I have any interest in Southern literature (in fact, I never actually read the magazine), but that CD is a must-have. Each year the writers and editors put together a wide-ranging selection of songs from musicians with Southern roots, spanning several decades and genres of music. As you would expect, there's a lot of old country, blues, and rock & roll that fills the disc, but the choices are never obvious and usually interesting in one way or another. It's like a really good mixtape made by someone with an amazingly eclectic record collection. And they always manage to throw in a few truly oddball songs- Van Dyke Parks' weirdly catchy "G-Man Hoover", for example, or a cheesy 70's-era tune by Muhammad Ali. Mostly, though, it's a fascinating trip through the roots of American music, as represented by some of its lesser-known artists. A new one comes out next month, so take Uncle Concord's advice and pick up a copy at your local newsstand- you'll be glad you did.

Lil' Lillian

2009-10-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

I am thrilled to announce the birth of my new niece, Lillian! She was born yesterday morning to my sister Christine and her husband Jonathan. Everyone in my family has been overjoyed with the news. And it's cool that my own baby now has a cousin, and I am now officially an uncle. We visit my sister pretty often, so it'll be great to see the two girls grow up together. Say hello to the next generation of Americans: Generation C (for Concord, of course)!

Two

2009-10-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

It's hard to believe, but it's been exactly two years since I began this blog. This is a bigger achievement than you may think. It's rare for any blog to last that long; for a blog with only three readers, it's a freaking miracle. So for this glorious occasion, I decided to celebrate with some Concord gelato. (Actually, that was two weeks ago, but the rules of time don't apply around here, as at least one of my readers can attest to.) Similar to the Concord sorbet that I made last year, this recipe calls for a little added cream which gives it a richer flavor. It was a big hit around the Concord household, and I'm sure it will become an annual tradition.

But there was another reason to celebrate. To fully understand this, you must go back to my very first post and remember the original purpose of this blog: to spread the word about Concord grapes to the people of America. And then you need to know what happened to me recently on a cold October morning in downtown Seattle. Here's the scoop: a couple weeks ago, I attended a fundraising breakfast for a local charity. Most of the guests arrived before the dining area was open, so people were mingling in the lobby and waiting. In that lobby was a long table with coffee, tea, and various little hors d'oeuvres for people to snack on, as well as a fruit platter. And on that fruit platter were the usual suspects: pineapple, strawberries, kiwi fruit. But here's the crazy part: there were also Concord grapes on the fruit platter! Not green grapes, not red grapes, not even black grapes (which look a lot like Concords but are, in fact, far inferior); no, these were honest-to-God Concords. I was shocked. Granted, nobody touched them, but there they were, on display for everyone to see. Actually, I did see one person eat a Concord, and then I witnessed her look of disgust as she realized that there were seeds in it and proceeded to spit it out. Regardless, my heart warmed with the thought that these grapes were finally beginning to break into the mainstream. Now, I don't know who catered this event, but I wouldn't be surprised if a friend of a friend of that caterer had stumbled upon my blog, got inspired, and started spreading the word. And that, my friends, is what keeps this blog going. Concords Are Better may be two years old today, but there are many more years to come!

Goodbye, Herkie

2009-10-12T22:23:00.000-07:00

I am sad to announce that one of the Concord family's beloved cats, Hercules, has died. He passed away two weeks ago today from feline myelodysplasia. More than most cats, he was extremely playful and affectionate. He was also the smartest cat of all time, as demonstrated by his ability to open the latch on the bathroom window while balancing on the cabinet below. He may have teased his sister Pandora a bit too much, but it was all in good fun. I think she'll miss him, too.

The Littlest Concord

2009-10-02T23:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

It's been ages since I last wrote, and big changes have been happening around the Concord household. What kind of changes? If you guessed diaper changes, you are only partly correct. Friends, I am excited to announce the arrival of Baby Concord! This little bundle of joy came into our world just two months ago, and since then she has been the center of our lives. I'll tell you more about her in a moment. Now, I think you can understand why I've been slacking off on my blogging duties lately. But I am going to get back into it in a big way: I will attempt to write a new post every week from now on. You're probably asking yourself right now, "How is the laziest blogger in the world going to accomplish such a feat?" Well, I'm lowering the bar. You heard me right. As far as I'm concerned, raising the bar is overrated. Everybody's doing it, and it just creates a lot of stress and misery. What I mean by lowering the bar is that I will post something every week, regardless if it meets my previously sky-high blogging standards. So one week you may get a three-sentence post about beef jerky, but then the next week you may get a five page manifesto concerning the socio-economic implications of tort reform. So there you go.

Now back to this week's topic- Baby Concord. And really, she should be the subject of every week's post, considering how big of an impact she has made on my life. Just how amazing is this little munchkin? First off, she is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Incredible, considering that she got half of her genes from me. She's also unusually well-behaved, judging from the numerous screaming gremlins that I have encountered in airplanes and eye exam rooms over the years. It's also surprising that she has already grown so big, especially considering that her parents are skinny folks. The thing that really blows my mind, however, is that Mr. and Mrs. Concord have created a new life. Right now, she depends upon us for everything, from eating to bathing to getting her diaper changed. But someday this baby will be a walking, talking kid, and then she'll be a rebellious teenager with opinions and strange musical tastes, and eventually she'll grow up to be a mature adult with a job, responsibilities, and perhaps a family of her own. And if everything goes according to plan, when I'm old and feeble, she'll be changing my diaper. Like I said, mind-blowing. Right now, though, I'm just enjoying her for who she is today: a sweet, precious baby. Each week is a new discovery, such as her first smile or a new vocal sound, and it's such a cool thing to experience. Friends, say hello to Baby Concord!

Gone But Not Forgotten

2009-06-28T23:43:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

As most of you know by now, my brother-in-law Steve passed away earlier this month after a year-long battle with leukemia. It's taken me a while to write something about him, mainly because his death was something that was too big and emotional to express in words, let alone in something as insignificant as a blog post. Steve was a big part of my life, and his passing came as a shock to everyone who knew him. Although he had been sick for a year, his positive attitude and determination convinced us all that he would be able to overcome his illness. It's been difficult adjusting to normal life these past few weeks knowing that he's not with us anymore. I do want to share a few thoughts of Steve with you all, and since he was a reader of this blog, I think he would appreciate that.

I first met Steve a few weeks after meeting Cindy. My initial impression of him was that he was friendly and easy-going; in fact, I never once saw him get angry during the whole time that I knew him. He had a calming presence that took the stress out of whatever difficult situation he was in. Some of my earliest memories of him were from a weekend trip to Vancouver that he, his wife Johanna, Cindy, and I took in late 2006. It was fun exploring the city with Steve, because he had an amazing curiosity. He was fascinated by things that were new and different, and he was able to recognize the subtle qualities that made certain things unique and interesting. I think most people lose this sense of discovery and become more jaded as they get older, but not Steve. The four of us went on a lot more adventures around the Northwest, as well as trips to New Mexico, Utah, and Oklahoma. I will always have great memories of those times.

It would be an understatement to say that Steve was a smart guy. He had a reputation as a brilliant computer engineer, first with Microsoft and later with iLike. I don't know anything about programming, but I remember how quickly his mind worked whenever he encountered some sort of problem. Naturally, he loved gadgets and technology. At the same time, he had a great sense of style, and he could easily blend in with the hip Capitol Hill crowd. He always seemed to be one step ahead of everyone else. And yet, there was never any kind of attitude with Steve; he was a genuinely sweet guy.

One of the reasons I got along well with Steve was because he was quiet and laid-back, something I could relate to. Steve was the last guy to let you know if something was bothering him. I think he just really disliked creating any kind of drama, and he was happiest when everyone was getting along and things were going smoothly. During the year that he was sick, he tried his best to keep his friends and family from worrying too much about him. I don't think he ever felt sorry for himself during the last year of his life; he kept a positive outlook even during the most difficult times. He did an amazing job at keeping everyone up to date with his blog, and perhaps his detailed explaination of his disease and treatment was a way to deal with the enormity of it all.

I feel fortunate that I got to know Steve pretty well during the last few years. Cindy and I probably hung out with him and Johanna about twice a week, usually having dinner together or working on some kind of home project. I always imagined that he would've been a great father someday, and it makes me sad that my own child will never get the chance to meet him. I feel terrible for Cindy and for Steve's parents, who did the great thing of moving out to Seattle last year to be with him; it must be so devastating to lose a brother or a son. And I'm especially sorry for Johanna: she and Steve were so wonderful together, and when he became ill, she devoted her life to being his caregiver. She is a true saint.

It's no surprise that Steve had a lot of friends, and he enriched all of our lives. His spirit lives on in the memories of everyone who knew him. Steve was a great guy, and he will be missed.

Think Outside the Bowl

2009-05-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

It's been a busy past few weeks in the Concords household. Our good friends Sarah and Michael recently moved to Seattle, and we've had a blast hanging out with them. In fact, we've had so much fun that blogging kind of fell by the wayside. But don't despair- Mr. Concord is here to enlighten you once again!

Many of you may have realized that my last post was a work of fiction. I do not, in fact, own a family-themed restaurant, nor do I intend to at any time in the near future. I'll admit that the whole thing was rather pointless. Let's face it, there are countless restaurants in the real world that are much weirder than the made-up one I blogged about last month. Which brings me to this week's topic: Modern Toilet. This is an actual Taiwanese restaurant chain whose concept revolves around eating out of a toilet. I shit you not (no pun intended). Check out their website here. Customers sit on toilets and eat food out of toilet-shaped bowls. Drinks are served in portable urinal flasks, and chocolate soft-serve ice cream is made to appear like a pile of dung. They even have something called a "hot pot". I imagine that the food is probably decent, but I doubt that the bathroom theme does much to whet one's appetite. Then again, maybe the Taiwanese have different tastes than the rest of us. Or perhaps the whole thing is an elaborate parody of the fast-food industry: if something tastes like shit, why not serve it in a toilet bowl? Whatever the reason, it's a fascinating example of Asian culture and ingenuity. America, the bar has been raised.

Bring the Kids

2009-04-18T23:16:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

Some of you may remember a post I wrote a while back about Chew, the fancy restaurant that I opened in Seattle last year. What a difference a year makes. All was going well with it until the economy took a nosedive. Nowadays, the only people stopping by are the ones who just want to use the restroom. It's that bad. Apparently, $30 rutabaga-bison skewers are not on the top of everyone's wish list in 2009. So I've decided to switch gears and transform the place into something with broader appeal.

Welcome to Crabapples, a new family-friendly restaurant that caters to the budget-conscious, fashion-averse, suburban customer. We feature giant plates of medium-quality food at rock-bottom prices; who could possibly resist that? But the fun doesn't stop there. Wednesday is family night, when we give each kid a free paper sombrero and a crayon. And don't forget to bring your swimsuit, since every Crabapples has its own indoor water slide!

Here are a few selections from our extensive menu:

Senor Juan's Fajita Trough- your own personal trough filled with grilled meat, peppers, onions, and guacamole. No utensils needed. You keep the trough! $8.99

Desert Bloomer- we take a whole artichoke, dip it in chipotle-cornmeal batter and deep-fry it, and serve it to you with a honey-mustard dipping sauce. It's party time! $8.99

Do-It-Yourself Tacos- we bring you a head of lettuce, ground beef, a block of pepperjack cheese, and two taco shells. You make 'em, you eat 'em! $8.99

Cap'n Vinnie's Spaghetti Bar- all-you-can-eat pasta, our very own Ragin' Red sauce, and 30 different kinds of meatballs to choose from: Jamaican Jerk, Beefy Masala, Thai Turkey, and more! $8.99

Katrina Burger- 3/4 pound beef patty, lettuce, tomato, pepperjack cheese, all on a toasted ciabatta bun and "drowned" in our signature Nawlins whiskey BBQ sauce. It'll rock you like a hurricane! $8.99

Bangers 'n Hash- a southwestern take on a British classic: four jumbo hot dogs covered with bacon-jalapeno hashbrowns and topped with sour cream and pepperjack cheese. Spicy! $8.99

Kids menu- choice between tater tots or PB&J sandwich. $8.99

Who knew that eating out could be so much fun? Remember, you're always one of the family at Crabapples!

The Man and the Beard

2009-04-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

Hola Amigos,
The last time I posted, I was in Berkeley. Today I'm writing to you from Sayulita, a charming little beach town on the Pacific coast of Mexico. Cindy and I are taking a "babymoon"- our last vacation before the baby arrives. Think of this post as a virtual postcard. The weather is nice, the people are friendly, and the scenery is beautiful. We wish you were here!

Today's topic is Will Oldham. Cindy and I had the pleasure of seeing him in concert last weekend while we were down in Portland. My super-cool brother-in-law Jonathan works at the venue where Will was playing, so we got to sit in the backstage VIP section and see him play up close. It was a great show by a uniquely talented musician.

So what is the big deal with Will Oldham, you say? For one thing, Cindy and I bonded over our mutual love of his music, and we both attended a show of his in 2006 the week before we met. I like to think that there is some sort of crazy, cosmic logic to all of this. But let's get to the music.
Will Oldham, who also goes by the name Bonnie 'Prince' Billy, began releasing albums under the name Palace Brothers way back in the early 90's. His music could be called "indie folk", as it is mostly acoustic and is heavily influenced by traditional American music styles. Nowadays, acoustic guitar-playing indie rockers are a dime a dozen, but let me tell you, back in the early 90's the music scene was a grunge-infested wasteland. So Will was a trailblazer of sorts. And while lots of musical artists have come and gone since that time, Will is still plugging away. Even more impressive is the fact that he's still making some of his best music this far into his career. It's not too common to find a musician that is at the top of his/her game for such a long period of time (Neil Young and Tom Waits come to mind, and yes, I'd rank Will Oldham right up there with them).

And then there is the public persona. You would not normally think that such beautiful, melodic music could come from the mind of such a freaky dude. I once saw him play a show that consisted of him singing, karaoke-style, over cheesy electronic versions of his songs. The fact that he was wearing eyeliner and a goofy sweater merely added to the effect. When Cindy and I saw him last week, we were endlessly entertained by all the weird dance moves he was doing. The guy is a true original.

Here's a clip of one of his songs from his latest album:

Concords Across America

2009-03-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Hey there,
Cindy and I are in Berkeley right now. We're having a great time hanging out in my old 'hood, and you can read all about it in Cindy's blog post. You should check it out. I'm not going to give anything away, but I will whet your appetite with these four magic words: monkey in a stroller. Alright, now on to business...
As I mentioned in a previous post, my friend Michael has taken on the noble task of promoting Concords Are Better around the DC area. Take a look at these fantastic photos:

What can I say...my eyes are filled with tears. My favorite picture is the one where Michael is posing next to the Angry Old Republican Guy. If that guy can overcome his prejudices and give Concords a chance, then there is hope for this country. And check out that picture of Michael in front of the White House; if the Obamas decide to plant Concords in their new garden, I will be able to die a happy man.
Michael and his wife Sarah will be driving from DC to Seattle next month, and I'm sure he'll be spreading the word of Concords to people across the nation. Lookout, Wichita, the Concords Across America campaign has just begun!

Postcard from New York

2009-03-07T22:14:00.000-08:00

Mr. and Mrs. Concord spent a few days in New York City last week. It was a great trip, made even better by our wonderful hostess Sheila. We explored cool neighborhoods, went to museums, and ate some great meals. We even met a freegan! I would almost say it was the perfect mini-vacation, except for one thing: I failed to find the perfect pastrami sandwich.

One of my complaints about living in Seattle is the lack of decent sandwiches, especially pastrami. I don't mean run-of-the-mill, stringy, supermarket-quality pastrami; you can find that shit anywhere. I'm talking about savory, thick-sliced, melt-in-your-mouth pastrami, the kind that can only be found in an authentic Jewish deli. One of the few places I've experienced this stuff is in New York City, so I made it clear to everyone that my one goal during our visit was to find said sandwich. A plan was made to go to the legendary 2nd Avenue Deli on the next-to-last day of the trip; in fact, the whole day was planned around this event. As luck would have it, we spent too much time at MoMA and had to postpone the quest until our last day. No problem, I thought- we weren't leaving until 2pm, so we could still go to the deli for an early lunch and then head straight for the airport. This is where things started to go horribly wrong.

NYC was hit with a snowstorm that day. Undaunted by the weather, we packed our bags and trudged through the slushy mess toward the subway station. While we were on the subway, the conductor announced that our stop was closed, so we had to get off on a different stop and walk several blocks, dragging our luggage through the snow. When we finally arrived at the address, the deli was nowhere to be found. I had been using an old guidebook, and the deli had since moved to a different location. It seemed as though some divine force was determined to prevent me from having my pastrami sandwich. Anyway, we had a plane to catch, so we settled for a quick bite at a coffee shop and took a cab to Penn Station. The cab sped through countless city blocks and then took a left turn down a small side street. I gazed through the frost-covered window as we passed by an image that would forever be burned into my memory: the 2nd Avenue Deli! The damn place was taunting me even as we were leaving the city. Alas, the sandwich of my dreams had eluded me once again.

One final note: our flight was cancelled, so I had to sit, pastrami-less, for several hours in the Newark airport with the knowledge that I could've had my sandwich after all.

The Reader

2009-02-17T20:28:00.000-08:00

It's been almost three weeks since I last posted, and I must admit that I feel a little guilty for neglecting my faithful readers. I can only imagine your disappointment when you check back on Concords Are Better every day, only to find the same old post sitting there from last month. It's like waiting for a package that never arrives, a package that was supposed to be filled with magic and sunshine. Well, I have the solution to your problem: Google Reader. For those of you who don't already know about this wonderful tool, let me explain. Google Reader is built into your Gmail account (which I assume you have), and it keeps tabs on all of your favorite blogs. It does the same thing for websites that post frequently via RSS feeds. One of my favorite comic strips, Monty, is available by RSS feed, meaning that I get a new comic every morning in my Google Reader. So how does this help you? If you use it, you don't have to keep checking back on all of your favorite blogs; Google Reader will tell you when a new post appears. The only downside is that it does not show any of those soundclips that I post from time to time (actually, that may be a bonus for some of you), nor does it show any comments. But you can easily click over to the original blog site if you want to see those. Surfing the web has never been easier.
Before I go, I want to draw your attention to the picture above. That's Concord fan Michael standing on the steps of the National Gallery in Washington, D.C., wearing his Concords Are Better t-shirt. He has been on a mission to spread the gospel of Concords Are Better to the people of our nation. Michael, you are an honorable man, and a great American.

Glen Khaki Glen Ross

2009-01-29T21:46:00.000-08:00

Hola Amigos,

Welcome to a new installment of "Lost In The Supermarket: Department Store Edition". Today's topic is work clothes. Let's face it: we spend half of our waking hours at work, so it's pretty important that the clothes we wear are comfortable. Sometimes I envy those people who can go to work in jeans and a t-shirt. Unfortunately, my job requires me to create an illusion of professionalism, so casual clothes are out of the picture. The worst part is that I have to wear a tie. I still don't understand how wearing a stupid piece of cloth around my neck is considered respectable, let alone functional. But let's move on.
I recently discovered the perfect pair of work pants: the Glen Khaki, by Dockers. I know what you're thinking: Dockers are for dorks. It's the go-to pant for style-impaired, middle-aged office workers. But Glen Khakis are different. Let's start with the fit. I've never had a better-fitting pair of slacks than these. They're comfy without being baggy. The flat front (as opposed to pleated) gives them a look that is casual yet stylish. As for the fabric, it is both soft and durable. Here's a true story: Last week I was riding my scooter to work while wearing my new pants. As I was making a turn in a parking lot, my scooter slid on a thin patch of ice and I crashed. I was going slow enough that neither the scooter nor my body was harmed in any significant way, but I was sure my pants would be torn from scraping the pavement. Not so. There was nary a scratch on my Glen Khakis. In fact, they probably saved my poor legs from a bad case of road rash. So there you have it: pants that can take a beating and still make me look good. What more could a guy ask for?

Got Hemp?

2009-01-13T23:16:00.000-08:00

Hi folks,

Today's post is the first in a series of in-depth reviews of supermarket products. I'm calling it "Lost In The Supermarket", and it will be a recurring column in this blog. In the past I've written reviews of local restaurants, but I've decided that's sort of pointless since most of my readers don't even live in Seattle. Supermarket products, on the other hand, are available to everyone, everywhere. They're the great equalizer in American culture. With that in mind, let's get started with today's featured product.

I recently made the switch from regular milk to soy milk, mainly due to some lactose intolerance issues. Actually, "intolerance" is probably too harsh of a word, since I can eat cheese and ice cream without any problem; it's mainly milk that sends me to the crapper. Perhaps a better term would be "lactose prejudiced". Anyway, everything's been just peachy since I made the switch. So imagine my delight when I found Hemp Dream on the shelf of the neighborhood grocery store. The concept is similar to soy milk, except that hemp seed is used as the base. I knew that clothing and other textiles could be made of hemp, and I'd seen hemp granola before, but hemp milk? I had to try it.

The packaging is great: the tie-dye colors make an obvious effort to appeal to the, uh, mellower segment of supermarket shoppers. The name alone suggests some sort of euphoric bliss. But that's where the party ends, folks. After drinking a glass of the stuff, I am sad to say that it tasted bitter and unpleasant. I ruined a perfectly decent bowl of cereal with it. And the worst part is, I felt totally sober afterwards. This is not a product that I can recommend to my readers, even those who normally enjoy hemp products. It's a bad trip, man.

1 + 1 = 3

2009-01-09T21:56:00.000-08:00

Dear readers, I have some exciting news to share: Mr. and Mrs. Concord are expecting a baby! How crazy is that? Both of us are super excited, but also a bit stunned by the idea of bringing a new life into the world. It's strange to think that this sort of thing happens all the time, all over the world, and yet it's so incredible when it happens to you. Lots of questions fill my mind: What will the baby look like? What kind of adult will this child grow up to be? Will he/she fully appreciate the wondrous flavor of Concord grapes? I'm pretty sure I know the answer to that last question.

We learned the news two months ago, and we've told most of you already. The early pregnancy symptoms were rough: constant nausea, weird food cravings at odd hours of the night, unpredictable mood swings...and that was just me. But seriously, Cindy has had to put up with a lot during these past couple of months, and I'll always be grateful for her strength and perseverance. I mean, she's building a human being for chrissakes!
I can only imagine how our lives will change after the baby is born. We probably won't be going to very many rock shows or fancy restaurants. I might not blog as often as I do now (which is already pretty infrequent). I'll probably be sleep-deprived on a regular basis. But I'm looking forward to my new life as a father. Wish me luck!

Bloggers and Joggers

2009-01-03T11:58:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I hope everyone out there had a safe and festive New Year's Eve. Cindy and I celebrated at a house party hosted by our friends Jenny and Greg. While most folks spent Dec 31 gearing up for a night of drinking and partying, our friend Nic was busting his ass running the Last Chance Marathon in Bellingham, Washington. As you may recall from a post I wrote a few weeks ago, Nic is running a series of 13 marathons to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. That's him to the left, wearing a Concords Are Better t-shirt on the day of the race (yes, we bribed him with a donation to his charity). So far Nic has run six marathons, and there's still time for you to donate to this worthy cause. Check out his blog for more info.

Speaking of which, there's also time to support my friend Trevor's upcoming triathalon. All he's asking is for you to sign up for the National Bone Marrow Registry. He still needs a lot of people to sign up in order to meet his goal of 100 new donors, so head on over to his blog right now!

Since I'm plugging my friends' blogs, I should also tell you about Quest For Manuka. This is a blog by my friend Chris (the same guy who's in the Netflix competition I wrote about a few posts back), and recently he's taken on the gargantuan task of listing his top 50 favorite albums of all time. I'm kicking myself for not thinking of such a brilliant idea first. It's a pretty damn entertaining read, and you should take a look.

This week's song is by MGMT. I don't know much about them, but I found this song on the web and it's catchy:

Not-So-Slow Food

2008-12-29T20:30:00.000-08:00

Cindy and I just got back from Portland, where we celebrated the holiday weekend with my family. We had a good time hanging out with them, as usual. On the way home, we stopped by a Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. Now, this is the kind of place we'd normally try to avoid, but it seemed like the least offensive option amongst the various fast food joints that lined the highway during our long drive. So imagine our amazement at the plethora of bizarre food items on the menu. Forget about tacos and burritos; most of what comprises the current Taco Bell menu is hardly recognizable as anything remotely Mexican (or American, for that matter). I ordered the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch and a side of Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes. The latter item was relatively simple: deep fried potato chunks topped with nacho cheese sauce and sour cream. I don't know why I ordered it- I guess I was just fascinated by the idea of such a ridiculous and unhealthy side dish. Or maybe Taco Bell's marketing magic was actually working, luring me to their strange, Frankenstein-like food creations against my better judgment. Whatever the case, I still can't explain why I ordered the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch. Containing a whopping 37 grams of fat (a regular taco has 10 grams by comparison), this thing consisted of a regular taco topped with "Zesty Southwest Cheddar Sauce," wrapped in a pita, with a layer of melted cheese and bacon pieces in-between. I'm no health food nut, but I'm pretty sure I killed off the natural flora of my digestive tract with that meal. The whole experience reminded me of a hilarious SNL skit I saw awhile back. Looking at it again, it seems like a vision of things to come:

Slow Food

2008-12-21T13:41:00.000-08:00

Hi friends,

Brrr! Winter is here, and what better way to warm up than with a hearty, home-cooked meal? Cindy and I recently discovered the joys the crock pot, one of the most underrated and unfairly maligned cooking utensils of all time. I know what you're thinking: how can a cool, hip dude like Mr. Concord possibly be excited about something as stupid as a crock pot? I realize that the words "crock pot" automatically conjour up all sorts of negative images: suburbia, the 70's, blandness, grandma's house. Okay, there's nothing negative about grandma's house, but you get the idea. Anyway, I'm here to tell you that crock pots kick ass, and here's why: 1) Meat cooked for 8 hours in a crock pot becomes amazingly tender, to the point that it practically falls off the bone. And get this: IT MAKES ITS OWN GRAVY. 2) You can find them for around $5 at garage sales everywhere. 3) It's no-brainer cooking: just throw a bunch of stuff in the pot and turn the knob. 4) You can turn it on before you go to work, and when you come home dinner is ready. Plus, the whole house smells delicious. It's like someone lit a beef-scented candle in the room.

So there you have it. Has married life turned me into some kind of domestic monster? Or am I actually the coolest guy on the block because of my love for outdated cookware? I think the answer is obvious. Next week: fun with casseroles!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Bamboo Shoots

2008-12-14T15:51:00.000-08:00

Last week, Cindy and I had dinner at Snappy Dragon, a Chinese restaurant in the Maple Leaf neighborhood of Seattle. In addition to being a nice place to eat, Snappy Dragon (or "Snappy D", as it is known to my friends) is one of the first restaurants I discovered when I moved to Seattle over a decade ago. Restaurants come and go, but Snappy D is still going strong after all these years. Maybe it's the neighborhood, which seems to have escaped much of the hype that infects trendier locales such as Ballard or Capitol Hill, or maybe it's just the lack of good Chinese food in North Seattle. Whatever the reason, this joint will always hold a special place in my heart. It is, after all, the place where my friend Dave once left a one cent tip (he was upset that the food took longer to arrive than it does at McDonald's); how can I forget that? So anyway, we had dinner there last week, and one of the things we ordered was chow mein with homemade noodles. It's an old favorite, and it was as good as it's always been. But then I realized something that I hadn't thought of before: this dish would be so much better without bamboo shoots. In fact, I don't think there's a single dish out there that is improved by the presence of bamboo shoots. Why? Because they are nothing more than filler. They are the Asian equivalent of celery, i.e. they're added to foods not for flavor but for texture. Unfortunately, both bamboo shoots and celery tend to get mushy when cooked, so the texture they add is actually kind of disgusting. Ultimately, both bamboo shoots and celery reduce the quality of dishes they are in. So here's a challenge to all the Chinese restaurants out there: make your food without bamboo shoots, and your customers will be happier. And to all the other restaurants: cut out the celery!

Running for Life

2008-12-10T17:15:00.000-08:00

Hey there! Remember me? It's been three weeks since I last posted, and Thanksgiving has already come and gone. What the hell happened? Two words: tryptophan coma. Anyway, I'm back, so let's get started.

As most of you already know, my brother-in-law Steve will soon be undergoing a bone marrow transplant. He has found a donor (9/10 match), and we are confident that everything will work out fine. Not that it's going to be easy, though; he will first need to undergo intensive chemotherapy and then go through the slow process of recovery after the transplant. We've all been impressed with Steve's courage, determination, and spirit in the face of cancer, and we can't wait for him to kick this disease once and for all. And yet, there are still ways that you can help not only Steve but others with his condition as well. Read on.

Steve's fight against leukemia has inspired my friend Trevor to enter the Ironman 70.3 Boise, a triathalon being held in Idaho next June. You may know Trevor as the mastermind behind the Mad City blog. So where do you come in? Trevor is simply asking that you support him by signing up for the National Bone Marrow Registry. That's right, Trevor's going to run, bike and swim over 70 miles, and all you have to do is pay $52 and take a cheek swab. Not a bad deal, huh? And who knows, you might just end up saving someone's life. Check out Trevor's post here. Go, Trevor, go!

Steve's story has also inspired one of his friends, Nic, to participate in another insane athletic event. Nic is running in a series of 13 marathon-length races over the course of 12 weeks in order to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. He's named his event "13 in 12", and you can read more about it on his blog here. Thanks, Nic!

So there you have it: two good reasons to donate to a worthy cause. Concords Are Better wishes these super athletes the best of luck!

Million Dollar Baby

2008-11-21T17:38:00.000-08:00

Yo, check it out: my friend Chris Volinsky is in the New York Times! He's quoted in an article about Netflix, which is holding a contest to see who can come up with the most accurate "recommendation engine" (the program that determines which movies to recommend to a customer). The winner will recieve $1 million, and Chris' team is one of the top participants so far. I've seen my fair share of fame and fortune (um, I won an ice cream-making contest at work), so I know exactly what Chris is going through right now. Stay focused, Chris, and don't let the pressure get to you. Good luck!

Breakfast of Champions

2008-11-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

Hello! Mr. and Mrs. Concord have been busy lately. Since my last post, we spent some time in St. Thomas and St. John vacationing and attending a friend's wedding. The beaches were nice, the weather was hot, and the iguanas were friendly. And congratulations to Jen and Aaron, the happy newlyweds! Anyway, it's good to be back in Seattle. Sure, it's nice to hang out in a tropical paradise, but there's nothing quite like the comforts of your own hometown. Last weekend we went out for brunch at the Volunteer Park Cafe. It was our second visit to the place, and it reinforced my opinion that it is the best breakfast joint in Seattle. I've long complained that too many restaurants serve the same stuff for breakfast: pancakes, omelettes (or "scrambles", or "rumbles", or whatever...it's all the same, really), french toast, eggs benny, etc. There's a huge variety of cuisines available for dinner, but people are pretty narrow-minded when it comes to their breakfasts. There are exceptions: I'm thinking specifically of Senor Moose in Ballard, which serves Mexican-style breakfasts, and Silence-Heart-Nest in Fremont, with it's Hare Krishna-inspired vegetarian offerings. But what if you want something that's not too far out, yet a step above your average American breakfast? Volunteer Park Cafe is your answer. As the name implies, it's a cafe, i.e. you order at the counter and seat yourself, but they offer a decent variety of breakfast dishes in addition to their coffee and pastries. And man, oh man, is their food delicious. I've tried both the breakfast panini (proscuitto, poached eggs, and gruyere cheese) and the carmelized, custardy brioche french toast. Sweet Jesus, they were amazing. Add to that the cool, laid-back vibe and the fact that it's tucked away in a residential neighborhood (always a plus in my book) near Volunteer Park and you've got yourself a winner.

Boo-Ya!

2008-11-04T22:48:00.000-08:00

Here he is, your new president. That one. This is the dawn of a new era in American politics, and I can't tell you how happy I am. Just imagine: a president who can speak in complete sentences, who can inspire the American public, who can make logical decisions, and who will improve the international reputation of this country. After eight years of stupidity, we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a good time to be an American, my friends.

Radio Concord is proud to present a special election day tribute to our new president, Barack Obama. I don't mean to reinforce any tired stereotypes, but this one is just too good to pass up:

The Sweet Taste of Victory

2008-11-02T16:39:00.000-08:00

Hey there,

Before I get started, I want to thank the fine folks at PhinneyWood for mentioning my blog on their website a few days ago. This is the sort of thing that really boosts my fragile ego. Check it out here.

Speaking of ego-boosting, I want to mention something else that happened to me last week. As you know, I've recently become obsessed with ice cream-making, and last month I wrote about an amazing Concord grape sorbet that I made. Let me tell you how it all started. Last summer, Cindy and I went out to dinner with some of my co-workers at the Boat Street Cafe. The dinner was great, but the dessert was even better: creme fraiche ice cream drizzled with cassis vinegar. It was so good that people were raving about it the next day. Since we all knew that the ice cream was home-made, we naturally thought about trying to make it ourselves. I then suggested that we have a competition to see who could come up with the best-tasting ice cream. Thus, the first annual Freeze-Off was born. Three of my co-workers agreed to enter the competition, and I immediately put an ice cream maker on my wedding registry so that I could participate as well. Eleven other co-workers would judge the event. Well, we finally had the Freeze-Off last week. My entry was Cash-n-Carry: cashew ice cream with caramel swirl. I don't mean to brag, but it tasted pretty freaking incredible. My competition was stiff: coconut ice cream with chocolate pieces, creme fraiche ice cream with mixed berries, and chocolate ice cream spiked with hot pepper. After the judges tasted all of the entries, a winner was announced: Cash-n-Carry! That's a picture of my trophy, above. So with my ass-kicking performance at the Freeze-Off, as well as my newfound fame on PhinneyWood, my ego's been running at an all-time high for the past few days. It's a good feeling, my friends.

Greetings From Grinney

2008-10-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

Seattle, like any decent American city, is a city of neighborhoods. People in this town enjoy being part of a community, and they often take pride in the neighborhood they live in. Due to Seattle's abundance of hills and water, the neighborhoods here usually have well-defined borders, and many have a distinct character that sets them apart from the rest of the city. Capitol Hill, West Seattle, International District, Georgetown...each of these areas has its own identity. But when people ask me which neighborhood I live in, I sometimes hesitate for a moment. I live on North 75th St: is that Greenwood or Phinney Ridge? The two neighborhoods sort of blend together, and it's not clear where the border is. Common sense says that the border between these two 'hoods is where Phinney Ave turns into Greenwood Ave, around 67th St. But according to Wikipedia, the border lies at 80th St. Because of this confusion, it's hard to say which neighborhood I live in. So from now on, I will be referring to my neighborhood as "Grinney". Grinney is my name for the area between 67th and 80th, and I consider it a distinct neighborhood in its own right. Pretty soon everyone in Seattle will be talking about that hip, new neighborhood called "Grinney." Folks, you heard it here first.

One

2008-10-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

Hi kids,

Exactly one year ago today, I decided to start a blog. My goals were simple: to inspire people, to share my innermost thoughts and desires, and to rave about Concord grapes. I had a dream to unite this great nation under the banner of all things grape-related. If everyone discovered the joy of Concord grapes, we could all lay aside our differences and learn to love one another. It was an ambitious goal. I knew the rough road that lay ahead, a road littered with sleepless nights, excessive drinking, and obsessed fans. But sometimes you have to pay a price to follow your dreams.

Let me tell you a story. Earlier this year, as I was traveling through California, I met a man named Joe. Let's call him Joe the Electrician, since he worked as a sales clerk at Radio Shack. Anyway, he told me that he was going to quit his job so that he could open a produce stand and sell grapes. Green grapes. He told me that his neighbors were so infatuated with green grapes that he figured he could make over $250,000 a year selling them. When I mentioned that Concord grapes were superior to the green variety, he was puzzled. Surely, he said, there is no way to make $250,000 selling Concords. And I said, you're absolutely right. You'll make maybe $10,000 a year, tops. But your neighbors will learn to love Concords, their quality of live will improve, and the entire community will call you a hero. With those words of inspiration, Joe opened his first Concord grape stand in June. Months passed, and then last week, I called Joe. I asked him how his business was going. I asked him if the current crop was as plump and juicy as the last. After a lengthy barrage of expletives, he explained that he was going bankrupt and his life was ruined. And so it goes. Friends, this is a story about sacrifice. It's about forgoing the American dream (i.e. making shitloads of money) so that others can enjoy the sweet, sweet flavor of Concord grapes. It's about spreading the juice around, so to speak. Because even though Joe the Electrician's life is in shambles, there is a bright side. People in Joe's neighborhood got to experience the glory of Concord grapes for the first time in their lives. They will always remember the day they stopped by that cranky old bastard's fruit stand, bit into a luscious Concord, and let the purple juice drip down their chins and onto their shirts, staining them permanently. And that, my friends, has made it all worthwhile.

Concords Are Better is one year old today. Happy birthday, Concords Are Better!

A Cheese-Biscuit in Paradise

2008-10-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

Cindy and I just got back from Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, where we were attending the wedding of our friends Sarah and Michael. They graciously hosted us at a beach house they rented for the wedding and the few days leading up to it. Several other friends were staying there too, so it was fun to hang out with them and pitch in a little with the wedding set-up. As for the wedding itself, it was fantastic. The setting on the water was beautiful, and it was a pleasure to meet all of Sarah and Michael's super-nice friends and family. The happy couple also performed probably the greatest first dance I have ever witnessed. And let's not forget the wonderful toast that Cindy gave to the newlyweds. It was a great time all around.
I need to mention something crazy that happened to me during the reception. After a few drinks I got a case of the hiccups, so one of Michael's friends told me he knew how to get rid of them. He applied some acupressure to my chest, and voila, the hiccups vanished. Amazing, right? No, the amazing thing was that another friend who was standing next to me immediately started to hiccup. It was a freaking hiccup transfer, people. I'm telling you, there was some serious mystical energy floating around that night.
The day after the wedding, we got some egg-and-cheese biscuits from Miss Helen's, which is a tiny bakery located inside of a local gas station convenience store. Normally I'd be skeptical of anything cooked at a gas station, but these biscuits were awesome. Moist and buttery, they reminded me why biscuits are one of the greatest foods on the planet. It was a perfect end to a perfect vacation.

Obamarama!

2008-10-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

Hey folks,

Cindy and I will be in North Carolina for the next few days, so this is the last post I'm going to write for at least a week. We'll be attending the wedding of Cindy's best friend Sarah and her husband-to-be (and professional blog commentor) Michael. We couldn't be happier for them, and we're looking forward to spending time with them during this special occasion. Now onto today's post...

It's hard to believe that the presidential election is less than a month away. If any of you watched the debate tonight, you saw a smart, confident candidate clearly stating his opinions and his plans for our country, and another candidate who seemed out of touch and uncomfortable (not to mention slightly creepy) talking to the audience. I'll let you fill in the names. Last Friday's vice-presidential debate was even more of a contrast. For someone with so much experience, it's surprising that McCain would choose a running mate who has exhibited such little understanding of key political issues. As far as I can tell, Palin was chosen due to her reputation as a political outsider, as well as for her spunky personality. If this is an example of McCain's judgment skills, let's imagine how he would fill out the rest of his cabinet. How about Carrot Top as Secretary of State? Why not? He probably doesn't know anything about politics, but he sure knows how to pull a giant rubber hamster out of his pants. As for Attorney General, how about my friend Dave? What the hell. Dave is a total maverick; who else but a maverick would order strawberry shortcake for dinner? I could go on, but the message should be clear: You want a president who is serious about improving the lives of Americans, not someone who plans to continue the backwards-thinking policies of our current administration. For this reason, Concords Are Better is endorsing Barack Obama for President in 2008. Go 'Bama!

Ladies Man

2008-10-04T12:27:00.000-07:00

I knew my friend Trevor was popular with the ladies, but I had no idea he was an international sex symbol. This is what I found while flipping through my subscription copy of Vogue magazine:

Grape Expectations

2008-10-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

You may have read a recent post in Echo and Hum about our new ice cream maker. It's true, we've been a bit obsessed with it. It's amazingly easy to make delicious ice cream with this machine. So far I have made Cash 'n Carry (cashew ice cream with caramel swirl) and Lemon Bar (lemon ice cream with pieces of pastry crust). Both were excellent. Cindy made the also-excellent and very rich Gianduia (chocolate-hazelnut ice cream). Well, it was only a matter of time before I decided to experiment with the mother of all flavors: Concord grape! We're right in the middle of Concord season, so I took the opportunity to make Concord sorbet. And it totally rocked. Here's the step-by-step process:

After boiling the grapes in some water, add sugar and lemon juice. Then strain the mixture and let it cool before putting it in the ice cream maker for 30 minutes:

Freeze the mixture overnight and you get this glorious stuff:

I think the message is clear: you need to get one of these machines right away. And you need to eat more Concords!

Ocho

2008-09-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

Last week Cindy and I tried a new restaurant in Ballard called Ocho (yes, this was the same night we bought our shoes- magic was in the air). And it was great. It's a tapas bar, which is not exactly new in this town, but it's closer to the real thing than anything else I've come across around here. My beef with Seattle tapas joints is that they're basically fancy restaurants with smaller plates. You wouldn't go to one of these places to get a drink and just hang out, because it's essentially a fancy restaurant. Ocho is different. It's small and low-key. Half of the place is taken up by a bar, with a few tables on the side. One look at the list of tapas (written on a chalkboard on the back wall) and you'll notice that most of them are around $4-$5. That's still higher than what you'd find in Spain, but lower than other places in Seattle. But what about the food? We had six plates between the two of us, and all but one were fantastic. They had the best garbanzo beans I've ever tasted (sort of a bean stew, with bacon and arugula), and I'm normally not that crazy about garbanzos. Oh, and get this- Cindy ordered a Coke...and it was 50 cents! When was the last time you saw Coke on a menu for that price? It's as if there were a rip in the fabric of the space-time-restaurant continuum. So I'm going to go ahead and give this place the Concords Are Better seal of approval. That's high praise, my friend.
This week's selection on Radio Concord is Sea Wolf, who we saw in concert recently:

Walking On Air

2008-09-26T17:10:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today about my new shoes. I bought them at Market Street Shoes in Ballard a few days ago. They're stylish yet functional. Most importantly, they feel great on my feet. Gone are the days when I could throw on a pair of Converse All-Stars and be good to go. I'm a 38 year-old man now; bunions and callouses are part of my daily life. Years of chronic fungal infections have left my toes permanently disfugured and in a state of constant pain. Well, that's all going to change. These new shoes make my feet feel like they're wrapped in cotton. They're made by a company called Ahnu (according to their website, the name is derived from the ancient Celtic word for "pillowy comfort"), and they are a pleasure to wear. I don't think there's a man or woman alive who doesn't appreciate the luxurious feel of a new pair of shoes. Here's a picture of them:

America's Funnyman

2008-09-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

Hey! How's it going? I've been enjoying married life for about a month now, and it's been fantastic. So much so that the whole blogging thing just sort of fell by the wayside. I know, I know, it's the same old excuse, but I swear I'll start posting more frequently. I'm going to write a lengthier post in the next few days or so, but today I'm simply going to share something very special with you. Do you remember how I mentioned that my friend Trevor gave an awesome speech at my wedding? I have been deluged with e-mails from people begging me for a copy of that speech. Dear friends, your prayers have been answered. Today I present to you...Trevor's speech!

Thanks to my sister for capturing this magical moment and posting it online.

A New Era

2008-09-08T22:50:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Normally I'd give some silly excuse for my lack of blogging, but this time I'm proud to say that I've been busy with something far more important: I got married! Not only that, but I got married to the most wonderful woman in the world. I think you know her- she writes that charming little blog called Echo and Hum. What can I say...it's been like a dream. I feel incredibly lucky, and I've never been happier in my life. It's also been a very busy time for both of us, what with the wedding planning and the honeymoon, so I hope you can understand why blogging took a back seat to all of this for the past several weeks.

The wedding was great; highlights included the beautiful ceremony, Trevor's excellent speech, and just hanging out with all of my friends and relatives. It was an honor to be in the presence of all these people who had flown in from across the country just to be with us on our special day. I'm pretty sure the entire readership of this blog was in attendance (thanks for coming!), so I don't need to explain how nice it was to enjoy the warm, sunny weather in such a gorgeous setting. I hope everyone had as good of a time as I did.

After the wedding, Cindy and I went to Kauai for our honeymoon, which was awesome. I'll save the details of that for a later post. Instead, I'd like to mention something of more immediate concern. As I mentioned a couple months ago, Cindy's brother (and now my brother-in-law) Steve is currently battling myelodysplastic syndrome, and he will need to find a donor for a bone marrow transplant. If you haven't signed up for the National Marrow Donor Registry, now's the time: from September 7-22, the $52 registration fee is being waived. The chances of matching to Steve is slim, but you could end up saving someone else's life. More info can be found here. Make sure you enter the promotion code to get the fee waived: NASC262101.

Finally, I'd like to mention something that all of you should be excited about: My friend Trevor has a new blog. I've been pestering him for months, trying to convince him to start a blog of his own, and now he's delivered the goods. Thank you, T-Bone! Now, if only Michael would start a blog...

Speaking of which: this week's selection on Radio Concord is from the most recent Stephen Malkmus album, which Michael sent me recently. Enjoy:

Summer Tricks

2008-08-11T20:44:00.000-07:00

Hey folks,

If you read the post I wrote a couple weeks back, you know all about my amazing idea for Root Creme. The concept was to take the creamy, vanilla-flavored mixture at the bottom of a root beer float and sell it in bottled form. I was going to make millions of dollars, become a hero to children across the world, and retire on my own private island. Well, today I learned an important lesson: God sometimes likes to shit on your dreams. That's right, kids. Look at the image to the left. That is what I found today while wandering through the aisles of a 7-11. When I saw that bottle, my heart sank. I suddenly realized that the future path of my life had changed, and it no longer involved limos and piles of cocaine. It's an awful feeling, like being fired from a job, or like discovering that one of your favorite musicians is a Scientologist. But I know that I'll eventually get over it. I went through the same thing years ago when I came up with the idea for the Breakfast Pizza, only to find a nearly identical product in my local grocery store several months later. So I can deal with this latest turn of events. In fact, I have several other great ideas in my head that are just waiting to be turned into reality. But if anybody steals my idea for the Griscuit, goddamn it, someone's gonna get hurt.

Oh, I guess you are probably wondering how the A&W Float tastes. It's good, but maybe with a little too much artificial vanilla flavor. I prefer the real thing.

Today's Radio Concord selection is from Bright Eyes, the Omaha, Nebraska-based singer/songwriter who also goes by the name Conor Oberst. He has a new album out which I haven't heard yet, but this song is from last year's album Cassadaga. Check it out:

Summer Treats

2008-07-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hey there,

How are you doing? Living the dream? As for me, I've been enjoying the summer here in the Northwest. You know what that means- bike rides, kite-flying, mowing the lawn without a shirt on, skinny-dipping at the local community pool, etc. But do you know what I like best about summer? Root beer floats. That's right, my friend. Call me old-fashioned, but there's nothing I like better than a frosty mug on a hot summer day. Why, it was just last weekend that Cindy and I were driving back to Seattle from Portland. About halfway through the three-hour drive, we stopped off at a roadside diner to take a break. The weather was hot, we were tired, and we were craving something cool and refreshing. Cindy ordered a root beer float, and goddamn, it was delicious. It's amazing how a mere two ingredients can combine to create something so wonderful. And do you know what my favorite part is? It's the leftover soda-melted ice cream mixture at the bottom of the mug. Hell, I would be satisfied just drinking that stuff by itself. Which brings me to my latest invention: Root Creme. That's right, I'm going to take that creamy, vanilla-flavored root beer (the "dregs", if you will) and put it in a bottle. Pretty soon, you're going to see this thing in the refrigerated section of every grocery store across the nation. And people will go crazy. Is that a genius idea, or what? Now I need to come up with a mascot to promote this concoction. I'm thinking of a beige-colored hippo wearing a parka, but I'm still working out the details.

This week's tune is from Andrew Bird, who we saw perform a few days ago at the Woodland Park Zoo. It's a cover of an old WWI-era ballad about soldiers returning home from the war. Enjoy:

Lost and Found

2008-07-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything, but things have been busy around here. As many of you may already know, Cindy's brother Steve was recently diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome. Cindy and I have been spending a lot of time with Steve and the rest of the family, so that's been the main focus of our lives for the past few weeks. We're optimistic that he'll recover fully, although he will require a bone marrow transplant. We're all wishing Steve the best of luck on his road to recovery. You can read more on Cindy's blog here.

If there's a bright side to any of this, it's the quality time that Cindy's family has been spending together. One of the things that we've enjoyed is watching old episodes of the TV show Lost. Since none of us had watched it before, we started with the first season on DVD, and it wasn't long before we were all hooked. I know, we're a bit late to catch on; at this rate, we'll probably start watching The Sopranos around 2012. For those of you unfamiliar with Lost, it's about the survivors of a plane crash that strands them on a mysterious island. Think Gilligan's Island, but way better. Each of the characters has a hidden past, and the island is full of strange surprises. The way the plot slowly reveals its secrets makes for some seriously addictive television. I could go on, but it's best to discover it for yourself. All of the past episodes are available on DVD, or you can watch it online for free here.

This week's song is a new one from the Icelandic band Sigur Ros. Steve's a fan, so this is for him.

Cute and Creepy

2008-06-26T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hola amigos,

After an unusually long rainy season, it seems like summer is finally here in Seattle. But that doesn't mean I'll be wasting my time playing in the sunshine; no, I'll still be slaving away in my dark, cramped computer room so that all of you folks can continue enjoying your weekly fix of blog heaven.

This week's post features a couple of things found on the World Wide Web. First up is a website called Angry Alien. Cindy's friend Beth recently turned us on to this site, which features 30-second reenactments of popular movies as performed by cute cartoon bunnies. Only the essential plot points are illustrated, and each clip speeds by at a hilarious pace. All of 'em are great, but my favorite is their version of Brokeback Mountain.

Next up is Monstruos Diabolicos, a webpage devoted to 80's-era Mexican monster trading cards. The cards are pretty cheesy, but the drawings are so low-budget that they end up being way cooler than any of the slick American trading cards I remember from my childhood.

This week on Radio Concord is a song by British musician Robert Wyatt. Originally a drummer for the 60's psychedelic band Soft Machine, he was paralyzed in a freak accident early on and has spent the remainder of his career making solo art-rock records. Here's a song from his latest album:

Happy Birthday!

2008-06-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

Today is Cindy's birthday. Here are some facts you should know about her:

- She was born in Guam.

- One of her life goals is to learn to play the banjo.

- She can speak both Spanish and German.

- Cindy once scored the only goal of the season for her first grade soccer team because the goalie was doing a cartwheel.

- She likes cats.

- She is the world's biggest Bonnie Prince Billy fan:

Happy birthday, Cindy!

Tripping

2008-06-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,
I'm sorry that I haven't posted anything recently. I spent the past week on the road with Cindy driving down the Oregon coast and hanging out in the Bay Area. It was a great trip, and you can read all about it on her blog, Echo And Hum. While you're at it, check out Three Blind Moose, another great blog by one of Cindy's friends. Both of these blogs are way more entertaining than the one you're reading now, so hop on over there right away.
I also want to apologize to Ben Gibbard and Colin Meloy for the unnecessarily mean post I wrote last week. You guys obviously have lots of fans who adore your music (including many of my readers), and it was wrong of me to pass judgement on it when I haven't really given your albums a fair listen. It's understandable that you two might be upset about all of this, so I'm offering a truce: I'll stop ragging on your bands if you'll stop calling me repeatedly at odd hours of the night. Deal? Good.

The only thing I have to share with you folks today is a NY Times article on flavor tripping. Apparently there is a West African berry called "miracle fruit" which causes taste buds to temporarily make everything taste sweeter and more delicious. After eating one of these berries, lemons taste like candy, beer tastes like milkshake, and cheese tastes like cheesecake. It sounds pretty wacky, and I'm curious to try it. Who knows, I may end up changing the name of this blog to "Miracle Fruit Is Better". Now, if only there were a berry that made Death Cab sound like the Replacements...

Today on Radio Concord is a song by an up-and-coming Seattle band called Throw Me The Statue:

Evil Twins

2008-05-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

Look at the pictures above. Who are these guys? Are they brothers? Twins separated at birth? No, they are the frontmen for two of the most popular rock bands in the Northwest: Seattle's Death Cab For Cutie and Portland's The Decemberists. The former band is led by Ben Gibbard (top photo) and the latter by Colin Meloy (bottom photo). Has anyone ever noticed that these guys look nearly identical? Same pudgy face, same shaggy haircut, same taste in western shirts. They probably even share the same optometrist. But here's the biggest similarity of all: both of their bands are completely overrated. No, their music isn't terrible, it's just very average. So average, in fact, that it's a mystery how either of them became popular in the first place. And yet The Decemberists recently played to huge crowds at a Barack Obama rally in Oregon. It's hard to imagine anyone getting pumped up for a politician by this band. And Death Cab played for the Dalai Lama during his visit here last month. I'm sure the Dalai Lama enjoyed the show; he's totally into sensitive white-boy indie rock these days. Okay, I realize that I'm being a bit harsh. And maybe I just haven't heard the right songs to be convinced of their talent. So if anyone out there can tell me what I'm missing, I'm all ears.

To contrast with the aformentioned bands, Radio Concord is presenting you with a song by one of the most underrated (and unheard) bands from the Northwest: The Whip. They were only active for a very brief period at the start of the decade, but it's fair to say that if they ever got the chance to play at a Barack Obama rally, there would be rioting in the streets. Their ex-bassist/vocalist continues to pummel eardrums with his current band, Big Business; if they ever roll through your town, I encourage you to check 'em out.

Middle America

2008-05-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

I just got back from Oklahoma, where Cindy and I were attending the funeral of her grandmother. That event is a little too personal to discuss in a forum like this, but I will say that I'm glad I went, and I was fortunate to meet a lot of Cindy's relatives while I was there.

I found Oklahoma to be interesting from a cultural perspective. Here are a few observations I had during my visit:

- The tiny town of Gage, where the funeral was held, is one of the vanishing towns of America. I can imagine that Main Street was a hub of activity 50 years ago, but everything is boarded up and deserted nowadays.

- Every medium-sized town has a WalMart. I wonder if that explains something about the previous observation. We also happened to drive through Kingfisher, the birthplace of Sam Walton.

- Beef tastes especially good in Oklahoma. Maybe it's fresher there.

- If you're ever in Oklahoma, make sure you visit the city of Guthrie, home to the largest historic district in the country. We didn't have time for more than a drive-through, but it looked cool.

The Radio Concord song of the week is "White Winter Hymnal", by Seattle band Fleet Foxes. Enjoy:

Radio Concord

2008-05-13T22:34:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,
Today marks the debut of Radio Concord, an ongoing feature on this blog aimed at keeping you up to date on the current music scene. Thanks to streaming audio websites such as SeeqPod, iLike, and Imeem, it's easy to discover and listen to all sorts of new bands. In fact, there is so much music out there that it can be overwhelming. My computerized assistant LABRUSCA has been busy scouring these sites to find music that it thinks will match the tastes of the Concord demographic (thirty-something, college-educated, lots of free time). From now on, each blog post will include a song that I, er, LABRUSCA has recently discovered and deemed worthy enough to share with you folks.

This week's song is "Fools", by The Dodos. I don't know too much about these guys, except that they are a guitar-drums duo from San Francisco. Check it out:

Sicko

2008-05-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

Mr. Concord has a cold this week. I'm sure you're all eager to hear me whine and complain about how miserable I feel, so I'm going to spend the entirety of today's post focusing on my sickness. Specifically, I'm going to talk about cold remedies. Since everyone gets a cold from time to time, this post should provide you with some useful information.

I seem to get sick about once a year, and as a result I've become somewhat of a connoisseur of cold medicines. Here's a brief overview of what I've tried in the past:
Pseudoephedrine- One of my faves. This drug has been more difficult to obtain recently due to its role in the production of methamphetimine. As long as you don't go to the store looking like trailer trash, the pharmacist will probably sell it to you without any hassle.
Phenylephrine- Most over-the-counter remedies use this now instead of pseudophedrine. It's a poor substitute, in my opinion. The Hyundai of cold medicines.
Dextromethorphan- This is a cough suppressant, but in large doses it can act as a hallucinogen. I'm no junkie, but if you're going to suffer through a horrible cold, you might as well reward yourself.

Cough Drops:

Hall's Mentho-Lyptus- The gold standard. Decent menthol content, with a fresh, minty finish.
Hall's Ice Blue- These have an even higher menthol content, so they're sure to get the job done. Slightly harsh afertaste. A real man's cough drop.
Luden's Wild Cherry- I remember eating these when I was a kid. The active ingredient here is pectin, which means they're totally worthless. For babies only.
Ricola- This one has a nice, sweet flavor, balanced by notes of peppermint and sage. The menthol content is rather low, though.
Robitussin Honey Center- This is by far my favorite cough drop. As the name indicates, these are filled with delicious, soothing honey. I would eat these even if I didn't have a cold. Five stars.

That's all for now. Not the most entertaining post, I know, but I should be in better shape next week. Keep me in your prayers. Love, Grape Boy.

Shat is the Shit

2008-04-29T21:34:00.000-07:00

Hola amigos,

I was hoping to post something really substantial today, but unfortunately my cyber-assistant LABRUSCA wasted away most of the past week watching robot porn. So the only thing I have to offer you is a couple of classic clips featuring the one and only William Shatner. Before the Priceline ads, before "Boston Legal," before even "TJ Hooker", there was this:

...and this:

Finally, I have some great news for blog-heads everywhere: my fiancee, Cindy, has started a new blog called Echo and Hum. I can guarantee that it will be just as entertaining and informative as Concords Are Better, only a lot cuter. Maybe you should check it out.

Replacements Revisited

2008-04-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

Hello friends, and welcome to another edition of Concords: Behind The Music. This week's subject is the Replacements, one of the most influential rock groups of the 80's. Four of their albums are being reissued this week, so it's a good opportunity for me to pay tribute to these guys. No other band at the time was better at combining the raw energy of punk with first-rate songwriting. If you aren't already familiar with their music, now's the time to take a closer look.

The Replacements had a huge impact on me as a teenager. They were the first alternative band I became obsessed with, and they shaped my musical tastes more than anyone else that I can think of. I still consider their album Tim to be one of the great rock-n-roll records of all-time; it's a perfect balance between the noisy thrash of their earlier records and the more mainstream pop that they made later on. The albums being reissued this week are from the pre-Tim era, which means that the songs might sound a bit rough to the uninitiated, but there are plenty of inspired moments nonetheless.

Here are a couple of tracks from those early records. The first song is one of my favorites from their album Hootenanny. It's a good example of the kind of loud, tuneful rock that they were known for. The second is an older song that finds them in mock country mode, which is unusual given that they were primarily a hardcore band back then.

Automatic For The People

2008-04-15T17:47:00.000-07:00

Hey there,

Another week, another blog post. That's my new resolution, anyway. You wouldn't believe the piles of mail I get begging me to blog more frequently. I won't argue the fact that I'm probably lazier than most bloggers, but you've got to admit that the quality of my posts is pretty freaking high. So in order to calm the rabid hysteria of my readership, I will try to write a new entry every week from now on. Now, I know what you're thinking: how can Mr. Grape Boy find the time to produce online brilliance every week? Read on.

Some of you may have already read the article in yesterday's NY Times about Philip M. Parker, the guy who's written 200,000 books. If you haven't, I encourage you to read about him here. The gist of the article is that he doesn't actually write anything; rather, he's programmed a computer to create books using complex algorithms which require very little human input. Search his name on Amazon.com and you'll find a seemingly endless list of books on topics ranging from acne rosacea to Indian bathmats. Apparently, these books are little more than lists of references and internet databases with some generic text inserted to make them feel like they were written by a person. It's a great idea, even if the result is not exactly compelling literature.

Here's where Concords Are Better comes in. In order to keep up with the demands of my devoted fans, I have designed a computer program (code name: LABRUSCA) to write all future entries for this blog. From now on, you will be reading a computer-generated post each week on a variety of subjects designed to appeal to the average Concords reader. LABRUSCA will choose a topic at random, link to a YouTube video, steal an image off the internet and upload it, throw in a few references to grapes or donuts, and tie it all together with some half-assed, sarcastic comments. In other words, these new posts should be virtually indistinguishable from ones I've written in the past. Hold on to your mousepads, my friends- the future is now!

Two for One

2008-04-08T21:26:00.000-07:00

Hello grape-heads,
I don't have any major revelations this week, so I thought I'd just share a couple of random things I found on the web. First is an online quiz that will tell you how many 5-year-old kids you could take on in a fight. Not exactly indispensable knowledge, but you never know when you might be ambushed by a gang of crazed kindergarteners. Or when you might feel like kicking some ass at the local playground.

Second is a map of the U.S. showing the regional nicknames for soft drinks. I've seen this before, but it still amazes me that people in the South will refer to any brand of carbonated beverage as a "Coke". Also, the map is really pretty to look at.

What do these two websites have in common? Not much, except for the fact that you'll probably be pretty thirsty after fighting all those 5-year-olds.

Good guitar solos

2008-03-31T21:45:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,
Since my previous post focused on bad guitar playing, I thought I'd turn things around this week and show you an example of good guitar playing. Think of it as Music Appreciation 101, Concord grape-style.

Here's a video of one of my all-time favorite guitarists, John Fahey, playing live in 1978. When you watch this clip, I want to you to be aware of the following: 1) Observe how Fahey uses a single guitar to create a complete song. Vocals and rhythm section are unnecessary and would probably detract from the quality of the music. 2) Notice that there is no self-indulgent soloing. Although he is not as technically accomplished as some guitarists, every note Fahey plays is perfectly placed and essential to the structure of the melody. 3) Listen to the way Fahey uses the techniques of traditional folk guitar fingerpicking to make music that is both highly expressive and modern-sounding. 4) Check out Fahey's hair. It is a total disaster. Even with this major distraction, the music is strong enough to hold our attention until the very end.

It is worth mentioning that I once went to a John Fahey show in Tacoma with my friend (and blog nemesis) Trevor. Fahey was in such terrible form that his playing could easily have been included in my previous post. Apparently, Fahey suffered from alcoholism and other health problems during his later years, and he died in 2001. If you want to hear more of his music, I recommend that you check out any of the albums he recorded in the 60's. These are classic records by a true musical genius.

Worst Guitar Solos Ever

2008-03-17T22:05:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,
I just discovered these funny clips on YouTube (courtesy of the BoingBoing website): videos of some of rock's most famous guitarists playing excruciatingly bad solos. In reality, some prankster has overdubbed his own intentionally awful playing over these clips, and the result is hilarious. Two of my favorites are of Eric Clapton and Steve Vai, if only because these guys are amongst the finest purveyors of "guitar face." Totally awesome.

Chew On This

2008-03-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

Hello dear readers,

As many of you now know, I recently opened a restaurant. The name of it is "Chew", and we specialize in nouveau Pan-Asian tapas with a Northwest flair. Really, it is like the most perfect food ever. Maybe you read that 4-star review of Chew in the Seattle Times, or perhaps you saw me on the cover of Bon Appetit magazine. If not, let me tell you about the place. Chew is located in the heart of downtown Seattle, right next to a bunch of other fancy restaurants. It's very cozy, only three tables and a small bar, and it's built inside of a giant, hollowed-out tree stump. The walls and furniture are lined with aluminum siding from the old Kalakala ferry...you can't get more local than that, can you? The decor is very vintage-modern post-industrial chic, whatever the hell that means. But let's move on to the star of the show: the food. Here's a sample from our award-winning menu:

Braised mutton tips with fennel jelly and baby artichokes...$15
Corned oxtail fricassee and panko-crusted filberts in a geoduck demi-glace...$24
Seared pygmy lobsters with sun-dried crabapples and mango-veal compote...$22
Quince and pigeon stew, with a side of fig sauce...$17
Half-dozen pheasant eggs, soaked in brandy and pomegranate soda...$19
Whole baby seal, grilled "Fukuoka"-style, on a bed of candied turnips...$30
Lavender oil-infused sea cucumbers laced with shiitake-habanero aioli...$14
Willamette Valley buffalo cheeks with blackened chard and cinnamon sticks...$24
Curried yams with daikon-rutabaga chutney and wild boar confit...$22

And for dessert...concord grapes, of course!

Every Vote Counts

2008-02-13T20:53:00.000-08:00

Well, the 2008 presidential campaign is rolling along at full force now, so it's time to start making some decisions. John McCain ("McLame") pretty much has the Republican nomination secured, but the Democratic ticket is still up for grabs. It's a tough choice between two top-notch candidates. That's why I'm here to help you decide.

During the last presidential election, someone had the genius to ask the American people, "Who would you rather have a beer with: George W. Bush or John Kerry?" Suddenly, all of the differences in politics, experience, and character of the two candidates were boiled down to a single, succinct question that everyone could understand. Like I said: genius. It's no surprise that the winner of that poll eventually won the election. So it only makes sense to ask a similar question of our current Democratic presidential candidates. Since the majority of this blog's readership is comprised of potheads and wackos, and since both candidates have a history of drug use (Clinton hasn't admitted as much, but let's be realistic), I ask you this: Which candidate would you rather smoke a joint with? Take the Concords Are Better poll!

The Fine Art of Name-Calling

2008-02-06T09:30:00.000-08:00

Hey folks,

Sorry for the long delay since my last post. I know it's been a bitterly cold winter, and it was wrong of me to deprive my fans of the warm, fuzzy feelings that my blog posts provide. I have an excuse, though: I spent much of the holiday season out of town (Portland and Albuquerque), and I recently got engaged (yes, there will soon be a Mrs. Concord). Plus, I've just been a lazy ass. In the grand scheme of things, this web journal kind of got pushed aside. But no longer. Your latest fix of blog heaven has arrived!

If you're like me, you've been paying close attention to the 2008 presidential race. And, if you're like me, you've noticed that something very important has been missing: nicknames. Yes, the history of American politics is filled with nicknames, and I would argue that this country's long tradition of political name-calling is what makes our nation so great. Here's a comprehensive list of past presidential nicknames, if you're not convinced. So I believe that it is my duty as an American citizen to provide you, dear readers, with the official list of nicknames for the 2008 presidential race.

First up is Barack Obama, who shall now be referred to as "Obamarama". I feel that this nickname accurately conveys the sense of youthful exuberance that has surrounded his campaign from the beginning. For Hillary Rodham Clinton, it's "Hillbilly", in partial reference to her redneck husband ("H-Rod" was a close runner-up). On the Republican side, you've got John McCain, who's nickname will be "McLame". Although this may be misinterpreted as an insensitive reference to his status as a physically disabled veteran, one must realize that his disability only involves his arms (which he is incapable of raising above his head) and not his legs. Okay, let's keep going...Mike Huckabee is now "The Huckster" ("Fuckamee" would be too risque for most people), and Mitt Romney shall be known simply as "The Mormon". Let's see, who's left? Oh yeah, there's Ron Paul ("Ru Paul") and Ralph Nader ("Nadir"), if he decides to run again. I think that covers it. Yesterday's Super Tuesday ("Supa Tuesday") results are in, and it looks like it's still a tight race for some candidates. Close enough, I think, that the new list of nicknames could very well tip the balance of the elections. Here's to an exciting race in 2008!

Sincerely,
Brian ("Grape Boy")

Best/Worst

2007-12-16T11:35:00.001-08:00

Well, the end of the year is almost here, which means that it's time for bloggers everywhere to put together their "Best of" lists. Everyone loves being a critic, and nothing is more satisfying for bloggers than to dish out their opinions on unsuspecting readers; it makes us feel smart and important. In keeping with that grand tradition, I am presenting you with my annual list of the best (and worst) restaurants of 2007. Obviously, I can't include all of my favorite restaurants, so I am limiting it to the places in Seattle that I tried for the first time in the past year. Also, keep in mind that most of these are not new restaurants, but they're new to me, and that's what counts.

Best (in no particular order):
Monsoon- Very nice Asian restaurant on Capitol Hill. A little pricey, but worth it. Everything was delicious, and the scallops were the best I've ever had.
Fu Man Dumpling House- About a quarter of the price of Monsoon, but equally satisfying. The green onion pancake was awesome: layers of soft dough, pan-fried to perfection. Actual Asian people eat here, unlike Monsoon.
La Spiga- Very large, industrial-looking space, but comfortable and stylish. I had some kind of gooey pasta dish with cheese and ground buffalo...like a really good version of Hamburger Helper, if you can imagine that.
Wing Dome- I avoided this place for so long due to a particularly bad chicken wing experience (not at the WingDome) many years ago, but this place has fantastic wings. The least-gay restaurant in Seattle.
Ohana- Hawaiian/Japanese restaurant in Belltown. I had a bento box with some of the best beef teriyaki I've ever tasted. Lots of tacky Polynesian decor inside, if you like that sort of thing.

Worst:
Kona Kitchen- Terrible Hawaiian food, sort of like the opposite of Ohana. The Kalua pork was soggy and salty, and everthing else tasted like it came out of a can. The place looked sad and run-down. Owned by a former child actor, which probably explains a lot.
Kalia- I went here because it's owned by the brother-in-law of one of my co-workers, and it's in my neighborhood. Indian food is usually fairly dependable, but not this place; everything was awful.

So there you have it...the best and worst of Seattle. Feel free to send me any tips on your fave/least-fave eating establishments. Bon appetit!

I Heart Katamari

2007-12-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

Hey! It's me again. I'm sure you've all been wondering what Mr. Concord has been up to recently. Well, the Christmas season has kept me pretty busy. You know the familiar drill: dressing up in Victorian clothes, making homemade candy canes, poring over the L.L. Bean holiday catalog. But this year I've started a new tradition: playing video games. I'm not much of a gamer, but I was recently introduced to the charms of the Xbox, Wii, and Playstation. Take it from me, you don't have to be a greasy-haired teenager with poor social skills to enjoy the sublime pleasures of Halo 3 and Super Mario Galaxy. These are time-wasters of the highest order.

Of all the games I've tried, by far the most bizarre is a Japanese game called Katamari. The object of the game is to maneuver a sticky ball around and roll over as many objects as possible, causing them to get stuck to the ball. Gradually, as you roll over more and more objects (starting with small things like sushi but eventually moving up to entire houses), the ball increases in size. The winner is, to paraphrase an old AC/DC song, the one with the biggest ball of all. This all may sound rather silly and childish, but what puts the game over the top is the surreal humor that permeates the whole production. It's one of those things that probably makes complete sense to the Japanese but comes off as completely fucked-up to everyone else. In other words, it's total genius. Check out this clip of the intro.

That's all for now, kids. Stay warm and be good, okay? Santa is watching you.

Happy Birthday

2007-11-27T20:05:00.000-08:00

Today is is the birthday of Jaleel White, who turns 31. Both a comic genius and a master thespian, Mr. White is best known for his groundbreaking role as the autistic character Urkel on the T.V. show "Family Matters". Through his harrowing portrayal of a mentally disabled teenager, Mr. White paved the way for future depictions of idiots, geeks, and simpletons in the popular media. Here's a brief clip of his work on YouTube. Urkel became so popular in the mid-90's that he inspired the creation of a strawberry-and-banana-flavored breakfast cereal called "Urkel-O's"; to this day it holds the distinction of being the only cereal ever to feature a retarded child as its mascot.

Although his acting days are mostly behind him, Mr. White continues to stay in the public eye via his website, a brilliant example of artistic restraint and minimalism in its own right. He also writes a blog about the NBA. Happy birthday, Jaleel!

B is for Bacon

2007-11-19T22:24:00.000-08:00

Hey there! I hope you had a nice weekend. I thought I'd include a photo of myself, since a lot of you folks out there in blog-land keep writing me and asking what I look like. And you wouldn't believe the number of times that people come up to me in airports, grocery stores, fancy restaurants, etc., and want to know if I'm "that guy who blogs about grapes". Yes, it's me, and no, you can't have my autograph. I wear about twenty pounds of gold chains around my neck; do I look like I have time to chit-chat with internet geeks? Sorry...I didn't mean to sound like an ungrateful jerk. I love each and every one of you. But seriously, get a life, okay?

Anyway, if you've been reading the comments section of this blog, you may have read about something called BaconSalt. I was planning on writing a lengthy post on this subject in the near future. Thank you, El, for stealing my thunder and tipping everyone off to this new discovery of mine. I might as well tell you about it anyway, so here goes: BaconSalt. Let me say it again: BaconSalt. Have you ever heard such a beautiful word in your life? Trust me, folks, if you ask for just one thing this Christmas, make it a bottle of BaconSalt. And I'm not the only one who is in love with this stuff; I spoke with a supermarket clerk recently, and he explained that the store sold out of three cases the previous day. I was lucky enough to grab one of the last two bottles on the shelf.

BaconSalt comes in three flavors: Original, Hickory, and Peppered. I've only tried the Hickory version, but I'm already a fan. It's basically bacon-flavored seasoning salt which can be used on meat, pasta, cooked vegetables...hell, put it on just about anything and it'll probably make it taste better. As the logo on the label says, "Everything should taste like bacon". Damn straight. I'm putting a bottle of this stuff on the table for Thanksgiving; I'll be surprised if it isn't empty by the end of the day.

Get On The Bus

2007-11-11T11:48:00.000-08:00

Hola amigos, and welcome to another edition of Concords Are Better. Today we're going to learn about taco trucks. That's right, I'm talking about those four-wheeled cookeries of Hispanic heaven that are scattered throughout the parking lots of this great nation. Even a pasty-faced gringo like me can appreciate the charms of eating Mexican food served from a vehicle; it's a culinary experience that crosses all racial bounderies. And since this blog is all about busting stereotypes and increasing cultural awareness, it's an appropriate topic for this week's post. So dust off that sombrero, hop into your lowrider, and let's roll!

Although Seattle is not exactly a bastion of Mexican food, the situation here seems to have gotten a little better in the past few years. There's a new torta shop on 78th and Aurora, there's El Chupacabra on Greenwood for Mission-style burritos, and there's La Carta de Oaxaca in Ballard, to name a few. But for a cheap, authentic Mexican meal, it's hard to beat the taco trucks. One blog post isn't big enough to do justice to the various trucks in the greater Seattle area, so I must direct you to another blog that is strictly devoted to that topic. The cool thing about that particular blog is that it provides a link to the health inspection report for each truck, which is great if you're looking for an authentic dining experience without the authentic gastrointestinal experience, if you know what I mean. With that in mind, let's focus on one specific taco truck in Seattle, which isn't really a truck at all. Rather, it's an old yellow schoolbus that has been gutted and converted into a mini-restaurant. The name of the place is El Carreton, and it's located in a strip mall on Aurora, near 150th. Here's the set-up: the front third of the bus houses the kitchen, and the rest of the bus has counters and stools on each side for dining. Like all good Mexican restaurants, there's Spanish-language television blaring in the background, and the whole operation is about as unpretentious as you can find in this yuppie-infested city. Ironically, the bus is parked across the street from a Taco Bell.

The food at El Carreton is typical taco truck fare, which means that it's simple yet satisfying. I've tried the carne asada tacos and the spicy pork burrito, and both were delicious. It's miles better than a place like Gordito's, where the burrito is about as tasty as a used diaper. And it somehow seems appropriate for a city like Seattle to have a taco truck with indoor seating, given the often-crappy weather. Do yourself a favor and check it out; you'll be living "la vida loca" if you do.

Greetings from DC

2007-11-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

Hey kids, it's me again. I know you've been waiting patiently for another mind-blowing blog post, and I realize that I haven't written anything in awhile, so I just want to say thanks for checking back in with me. Mr. Sunshine is here to brighten your day. I know, it's been a rough two weeks without me. If you learn just one thing from this blog, it's that no matter how badly life shits all over you, you'll always have a friend here at Concords Are Better. Now turn that frown upside-down and prepare to be dazzled!

Here's something that will make everyone happy: design-your-own donuts. During a recent trip to Washington, DC, I learned about a donut shop in Maryland that lets you create your own deep-fried masterpieces, complete with the toppings of your choice. What could be more perfect than that? And get this- the name of the shop is The Fractured Prune. Seriously, I could not have come up with a better name. The folks at Top Pot (a so-called gourmet donut store in my hometown of Seattle) ought to be hanging their heads in shame right now. Sadly, I was unable to visit The Fractured Prune during my trip, so I can only dream of the wondrous tastes and smells that fill that magical shop. Here's a link to their website. I dare anyone to look at it without drooling.

Another great thing I discovered in DC was the Hirshhorn Museum. Although not nearly as big as the National Gallery (and less comprehensive, as it only focuses on contemporary art), it nevertheless has a ton of cool art that shouldn't be missed during a visit to the city. One of the pieces in the museum that stuck in my mind was a 30-minute film called "The Way Things Go". If you were ever fascinated by those goofy Rube Goldberg contraptions when you were a kid, you'll appreciate the mad genius of this movie, which is basically one long chain reaction of rolling tires, catapults, and fireballs. Here's a short clip of it on YouTube.

Donuts and fireballs aside, the highlight of my trip was exploring the various neighborhoods with my girlfriend (who used to live in DC) and meeting her old friends. I'm not going to go into too much detail here, but I do want to give a shout-out to Sarah and Michael for being such gracious hosts. And a special thanks to Michael for giving me his hemp shoes. Few things in life are as comforting as the knowledge that if times get rough, I can always smoke my shoes.

Nature's Candy

2007-10-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

Hi folks, and welcome to my blog. It is a magical place, filled with joy and wonder. And rainbows! If you read my blog, you will discover important things about art, culture, the world, and maybe even yourself. I want to touch the soul of each and every one of you, dear readers, and give you something to make your day shine a little brighter. If you're feeling down in the dumps, simply check into my blog and you'll get a warm, fuzzy feeling in your heart. Why? Because I love you.

Now, you may be wondering about the name of this blog. Let me explain. Most people in this country have never eaten a Concord grape. This is a shame. Seedless grapes (a.k.a. green grapes, although there are also red and black varieties) are usually the only grapes found in the supermarket; as a result, they are the only kind eaten by the average American consumer. The flavor of seedless grapes is sweet yet bland, and it bears little resemblance to the flavor of Concord grapes. And yet, when someone eats a Concord grape for the first time, he/she usually recognizes the flavor instantly. It is the flavor of grape juice, grape jelly, and grape candy. In fact, most grape-flavored products are made with either the juice of the Concord or a Concord-like flavoring. Moreover, the color of these foods is almost always purple, just like the skin of the Concord. What I'm getting at is this: there is a major disconnect in this society, one in which children are not able to associate the flavor of grape juice with the fruit from which it came. Applesauce tastes like apples, orange juice tastes like oranges, but grape jelly tastes nothing like seedless grapes. It's gastronomic confusion of the worst kind. This problem needs to be fixed, and I am determined to fix it, one blog reader at a time.

Let me tell you what you've been missing. Concords have a taste which is much sweeter and more complex than that of green grapes, with a pleasing tartness that perfectly balances the sugar. Every time I eat one, a symphony of flavors fills my mouth. So if Concords taste so much better, why aren't they more popular? To better understand this dilemma, let's go back to something I mentioned earlier: rainbows. As Confucius once said, you can't have rainbows without rain. Similarly, there is a small price to pay for the miracle of Concords, and that price is the seeds and skins of the grapes. These need to be spit out every time you eat a Concord. Honestly, it's not a big deal, unless you're an infant. The only other drawback is the fact that the grapes are hard to find, but they can usually be found at Korean gorcery stores. Now that you've been enlightened, you have no excuse not to enjoy one of nature's hidden treasures. Let the magic begin!