Crouching Tiger, Hidden Bamboo Shoots

Last week, Cindy and I had dinner at Snappy Dragon, a Chinese restaurant in the Maple Leaf neighborhood of Seattle. In addition to being a nice place to eat, Snappy Dragon (or "Snappy D", as it is known to my friends) is one of the first restaurants I discovered when I moved to Seattle over a decade ago. Restaurants come and go, but Snappy D is still going strong after all these years. Maybe it's the neighborhood, which seems to have escaped much of the hype that infects trendier locales such as Ballard or Capitol Hill, or maybe it's just the lack of good Chinese food in North Seattle. Whatever the reason, this joint will always hold a special place in my heart. It is, after all, the place where my friend Dave once left a one cent tip (he was upset that the food took longer to arrive than it does at McDonald's); how can I forget that? So anyway, we had dinner there last week, and one of the things we ordered was chow mein with homemade noodles. It's an old favorite, and it was as good as it's always been. But then I realized something that I hadn't thought of before: this dish would be so much better without bamboo shoots. In fact, I don't think there's a single dish out there that is improved by the presence of bamboo shoots. Why? Because they are nothing more than filler. They are the Asian equivalent of celery, i.e. they're added to foods not for flavor but for texture. Unfortunately, both bamboo shoots and celery tend to get mushy when cooked, so the texture they add is actually kind of disgusting. Ultimately, both bamboo shoots and celery reduce the quality of dishes they are in. So here's a challenge to all the Chinese restaurants out there: make your food without bamboo shoots, and your customers will be happier. And to all the other restaurants: cut out the celery!