Think Outside the Bowl

Hi folks,

It's been a busy past few weeks in the Concords household. Our good friends Sarah and Michael recently moved to Seattle, and we've had a blast hanging out with them. In fact, we've had so much fun that blogging kind of fell by the wayside. But don't despair- Mr. Concord is here to enlighten you once again!

Many of you may have realized that my last post was a work of fiction. I do not, in fact, own a family-themed restaurant, nor do I intend to at any time in the near future. I'll admit that the whole thing was rather pointless. Let's face it, there are countless restaurants in the real world that are much weirder than the made-up one I blogged about last month. Which brings me to this week's topic: Modern Toilet. This is an actual Taiwanese restaurant chain whose concept revolves around eating out of a toilet. I shit you not (no pun intended). Check out their website here. Customers sit on toilets and eat food out of toilet-shaped bowls. Drinks are served in portable urinal flasks, and chocolate soft-serve ice cream is made to appear like a pile of dung. They even have something called a "hot pot". I imagine that the food is probably decent, but I doubt that the bathroom theme does much to whet one's appetite. Then again, maybe the Taiwanese have different tastes than the rest of us. Or perhaps the whole thing is an elaborate parody of the fast-food industry: if something tastes like shit, why not serve it in a toilet bowl? Whatever the reason, it's a fascinating example of Asian culture and ingenuity. America, the bar has been raised.

Bring the Kids

Hello friends,

Some of you may remember a post I wrote a while back about Chew, the fancy restaurant that I opened in Seattle last year. What a difference a year makes. All was going well with it until the economy took a nosedive. Nowadays, the only people stopping by are the ones who just want to use the restroom. It's that bad. Apparently, $30 rutabaga-bison skewers are not on the top of everyone's wish list in 2009. So I've decided to switch gears and transform the place into something with broader appeal.

Welcome to Crabapples, a new family-friendly restaurant that caters to the budget-conscious, fashion-averse, suburban customer. We feature giant plates of medium-quality food at rock-bottom prices; who could possibly resist that? But the fun doesn't stop there. Wednesday is family night, when we give each kid a free paper sombrero and a crayon. And don't forget to bring your swimsuit, since every Crabapples has its own indoor water slide!

Here are a few selections from our extensive menu:

Senor Juan's Fajita Trough- your own personal trough filled with grilled meat, peppers, onions, and guacamole. No utensils needed. You keep the trough! $8.99

Desert Bloomer- we take a whole artichoke, dip it in chipotle-cornmeal batter and deep-fry it, and serve it to you with a honey-mustard dipping sauce. It's party time! $8.99

Do-It-Yourself Tacos- we bring you a head of lettuce, ground beef, a block of pepperjack cheese, and two taco shells. You make 'em, you eat 'em! $8.99

Cap'n Vinnie's Spaghetti Bar- all-you-can-eat pasta, our very own Ragin' Red sauce, and 30 different kinds of meatballs to choose from: Jamaican Jerk, Beefy Masala, Thai Turkey, and more! $8.99

Katrina Burger- 3/4 pound beef patty, lettuce, tomato, pepperjack cheese, all on a toasted ciabatta bun and "drowned" in our signature Nawlins whiskey BBQ sauce. It'll rock you like a hurricane! $8.99

Bangers 'n Hash- a southwestern take on a British classic: four jumbo hot dogs covered with bacon-jalapeno hashbrowns and topped with sour cream and pepperjack cheese. Spicy! $8.99

Kids menu- choice between tater tots or PB&J sandwich. $8.99

Who knew that eating out could be so much fun? Remember, you're always one of the family at Crabapples!

The Man and the Beard

Hola Amigos,
The last time I posted, I was in Berkeley. Today I'm writing to you from Sayulita, a charming little beach town on the Pacific coast of Mexico. Cindy and I are taking a "babymoon"- our last vacation before the baby arrives. Think of this post as a virtual postcard. The weather is nice, the people are friendly, and the scenery is beautiful. We wish you were here!

Today's topic is Will Oldham. Cindy and I had the pleasure of seeing him in concert last weekend while we were down in Portland. My super-cool brother-in-law Jonathan works at the venue where Will was playing, so we got to sit in the backstage VIP section and see him play up close. It was a great show by a uniquely talented musician.

So what is the big deal with Will Oldham, you say? For one thing, Cindy and I bonded over our mutual love of his music, and we both attended a show of his in 2006 the week before we met. I like to think that there is some sort of crazy, cosmic logic to all of this. But let's get to the music.
Will Oldham, who also goes by the name Bonnie 'Prince' Billy, began releasing albums under the name Palace Brothers way back in the early 90's. His music could be called "indie folk", as it is mostly acoustic and is heavily influenced by traditional American music styles. Nowadays, acoustic guitar-playing indie rockers are a dime a dozen, but let me tell you, back in the early 90's the music scene was a grunge-infested wasteland. So Will was a trailblazer of sorts. And while lots of musical artists have come and gone since that time, Will is still plugging away. Even more impressive is the fact that he's still making some of his best music this far into his career. It's not too common to find a musician that is at the top of his/her game for such a long period of time (Neil Young and Tom Waits come to mind, and yes, I'd rank Will Oldham right up there with them).

And then there is the public persona. You would not normally think that such beautiful, melodic music could come from the mind of such a freaky dude. I once saw him play a show that consisted of him singing, karaoke-style, over cheesy electronic versions of his songs. The fact that he was wearing eyeliner and a goofy sweater merely added to the effect. When Cindy and I saw him last week, we were endlessly entertained by all the weird dance moves he was doing. The guy is a true original.

Here's a clip of one of his songs from his latest album:

Concords Across America

Hey there,
Cindy and I are in Berkeley right now. We're having a great time hanging out in my old 'hood, and you can read all about it in Cindy's blog post. You should check it out. I'm not going to give anything away, but I will whet your appetite with these four magic words: monkey in a stroller. Alright, now on to business...
As I mentioned in a previous post, my friend Michael has taken on the noble task of promoting Concords Are Better around the DC area. Take a look at these fantastic photos:





What can I say...my eyes are filled with tears. My favorite picture is the one where Michael is posing next to the Angry Old Republican Guy. If that guy can overcome his prejudices and give Concords a chance, then there is hope for this country. And check out that picture of Michael in front of the White House; if the Obamas decide to plant Concords in their new garden, I will be able to die a happy man.
Michael and his wife Sarah will be driving from DC to Seattle next month, and I'm sure he'll be spreading the word of Concords to people across the nation. Lookout, Wichita, the Concords Across America campaign has just begun!

Postcard from New York

Mr. and Mrs. Concord spent a few days in New York City last week. It was a great trip, made even better by our wonderful hostess Sheila. We explored cool neighborhoods, went to museums, and ate some great meals. We even met a freegan! I would almost say it was the perfect mini-vacation, except for one thing: I failed to find the perfect pastrami sandwich.

One of my complaints about living in Seattle is the lack of decent sandwiches, especially pastrami. I don't mean run-of-the-mill, stringy, supermarket-quality pastrami; you can find that shit anywhere. I'm talking about savory, thick-sliced, melt-in-your-mouth pastrami, the kind that can only be found in an authentic Jewish deli. One of the few places I've experienced this stuff is in New York City, so I made it clear to everyone that my one goal during our visit was to find said sandwich. A plan was made to go to the legendary 2nd Avenue Deli on the next-to-last day of the trip; in fact, the whole day was planned around this event. As luck would have it, we spent too much time at MoMA and had to postpone the quest until our last day. No problem, I thought- we weren't leaving until 2pm, so we could still go to the deli for an early lunch and then head straight for the airport. This is where things started to go horribly wrong.

NYC was hit with a snowstorm that day. Undaunted by the weather, we packed our bags and trudged through the slushy mess toward the subway station. While we were on the subway, the conductor announced that our stop was closed, so we had to get off on a different stop and walk several blocks, dragging our luggage through the snow. When we finally arrived at the address, the deli was nowhere to be found. I had been using an old guidebook, and the deli had since moved to a different location. It seemed as though some divine force was determined to prevent me from having my pastrami sandwich. Anyway, we had a plane to catch, so we settled for a quick bite at a coffee shop and took a cab to Penn Station. The cab sped through countless city blocks and then took a left turn down a small side street. I gazed through the frost-covered window as we passed by an image that would forever be burned into my memory: the 2nd Avenue Deli! The damn place was taunting me even as we were leaving the city. Alas, the sandwich of my dreams had eluded me once again.

One final note: our flight was cancelled, so I had to sit, pastrami-less, for several hours in the Newark airport with the knowledge that I could've had my sandwich after all.

The Reader

It's been almost three weeks since I last posted, and I must admit that I feel a little guilty for neglecting my faithful readers. I can only imagine your disappointment when you check back on Concords Are Better every day, only to find the same old post sitting there from last month. It's like waiting for a package that never arrives, a package that was supposed to be filled with magic and sunshine. Well, I have the solution to your problem: Google Reader. For those of you who don't already know about this wonderful tool, let me explain. Google Reader is built into your Gmail account (which I assume you have), and it keeps tabs on all of your favorite blogs. It does the same thing for websites that post frequently via RSS feeds. One of my favorite comic strips, Monty, is available by RSS feed, meaning that I get a new comic every morning in my Google Reader. So how does this help you? If you use it, you don't have to keep checking back on all of your favorite blogs; Google Reader will tell you when a new post appears. The only downside is that it does not show any of those soundclips that I post from time to time (actually, that may be a bonus for some of you), nor does it show any comments. But you can easily click over to the original blog site if you want to see those. Surfing the web has never been easier.
Before I go, I want to draw your attention to the picture above. That's Concord fan Michael standing on the steps of the National Gallery in Washington, D.C., wearing his Concords Are Better t-shirt. He has been on a mission to spread the gospel of Concords Are Better to the people of our nation. Michael, you are an honorable man, and a great American.

Glen Khaki Glen Ross

Hola Amigos,

Welcome to a new installment of "Lost In The Supermarket: Department Store Edition". Today's topic is work clothes. Let's face it: we spend half of our waking hours at work, so it's pretty important that the clothes we wear are comfortable. Sometimes I envy those people who can go to work in jeans and a t-shirt. Unfortunately, my job requires me to create an illusion of professionalism, so casual clothes are out of the picture. The worst part is that I have to wear a tie. I still don't understand how wearing a stupid piece of cloth around my neck is considered respectable, let alone functional. But let's move on.
I recently discovered the perfect pair of work pants: the Glen Khaki, by Dockers. I know what you're thinking: Dockers are for dorks. It's the go-to pant for style-impaired, middle-aged office workers. But Glen Khakis are different. Let's start with the fit. I've never had a better-fitting pair of slacks than these. They're comfy without being baggy. The flat front (as opposed to pleated) gives them a look that is casual yet stylish. As for the fabric, it is both soft and durable. Here's a true story: Last week I was riding my scooter to work while wearing my new pants. As I was making a turn in a parking lot, my scooter slid on a thin patch of ice and I crashed. I was going slow enough that neither the scooter nor my body was harmed in any significant way, but I was sure my pants would be torn from scraping the pavement. Not so. There was nary a scratch on my Glen Khakis. In fact, they probably saved my poor legs from a bad case of road rash. So there you have it: pants that can take a beating and still make me look good. What more could a guy ask for?