Friday, November 19, 2010

A Culinary Revolution

I am nothing if not a man of ideas. Anyone who knows me knows that I am constantly thinking up new ways to prepare and serve food: the gravy-filled biscuit, the double-sided pizza, the monkey-staffed kitchen...the list goes on and on. Some ideas, such as the cereal restaurant and the breakfast pizza, have been ripped off from me by unscrupulous businessmen who used them for their own profit. And yet I soldier on. Anyway, I recently came up with a new idea for a restaurant which could, ahem, "revolutionize" the food industry. Let me explain.
One of Japan's greatest contributions to modern society is the conveyor-belt sushi restaurant. There are a number of them here in Seattle, and they're my preferred choice for eating sushi. The reasons are numerous. First, I always get exactly the amount of food needed to satisfy my hunger, no more, no less. Second, variety: why eat ten pieces of spicy tuna roll when you can have a couple pieces each of several different rolls? Third, instant gratification: no waiting around for the waiter to take my order or the chef to prepare it. Fourth, visual stimulation: watching all of those colorful pieces of sushi go around is fun. Even my one-year-old daughter can appreciate this. If there's a downside to conveyor-belt sushi, it's that you never know exactly how long the sushi has been sitting out. But a little extra wasabi should be enough to kill off any unwanted food pathogens.
So I got to thinking: why not apply the conveyor-belt method to other types of food? With the modern trend of small plates, it would seem like a natural fit. You could have conveyor-belt tapas, conveyor-belt BBQ, conveyor-belt Thai, you name it. It's such a no-brainer that I'm surprised that nobody's done it yet. But it's bound to happen sooner or later. You heard it here first, friends.


Trevor said...

They've already got one of those over in Milwaukee. It's called the C-Belt (kind of a play on words, since it's in the Colverdale-Belton district in addition to the whole conveyor belt thing). They serve tapas, BBQ, cereal, and um ... fruit salad. You know, all kinds of stuff, all on little plates or bowls. And check this out: the conveyor belt is RED. It really looks cool. Because, you know, they're usually black.

Brian said...

Hmmm...I've looked online for this place I don't see it mentioned anywhere. So I assume you're joking. If not, my powerful team of lawyers will find this restaurant and put the damn thing out of business.

Trevor said...

They're so exclusive, you can't find them anywhere on the web. They don't even have a phone! And if you want to eat there, you have to know the secret password (FYI, it's "fidelio")